Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Letting go...

I think with me letting go is a problem. I do not think I am quite at that "hoarders" stage but I can see the signs of that disease in my life. Now don't get me wrong, my house is not littered with old newspapers, magazines, pizza boxes and clothes strewn all over the place (OK well we are not counting the laundry room). But I find in my physical and spiritual life I have a hard time letting things go.
I was going through my closet a couple weeks ago and saw a suit that I have not wore in over 10 years. It is a great looking suit, double breasted, pin striped and about five sizes too small for me now. So instead of donating it to some foundation, I looked at it, wiped the dust off the shoulders and hung it back up thinking that I will one day be skinny again and put that dude on. When in reality if I get back to that weight I am not sure I want to be wearing a fifteen year old suit.
I was looking through my stack of stuff and found I have a briefcase fetish. I have about ten briefcases laying around my den. I have briefcases for all sorts of situtations. I have messenger bag briefcases (4), I have a briefcase that has a handle and wheels (1), I have a soft side leather briefcase (1), I have a hard side leather briefcase (1), I have a soft side egonomic laptop computer briefcase, I have a briefcase that will allow you to put a change of clothes in it as well as all the papers and laptops you might need (1) and I have a stainless steel clad briefcase I bought on a whim one time because it was cool. Okay, so I only have 9 briefcases but really how many do I need? I think I am going to get a backpack briefcase so I can have a nice round number of ten. See there I go again, adding and not releasing.
I have a hard time letting go of things. Do I need a stainless steel briefcase? No so why do I still have it? That is the hard question.
Do I need to work weekends? No, so why do I? Do I need to allow others to take on things I am doing currently? Yes, so why won't I embrace them and allow them to help me instead of wrapping my arms even more tightly around my problems?
Sometimes letting go is the hardest thing to do.

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