Brrrrrrr....

Was Chicago the last weekend and I have come to one conclusion, it is really COLD up there in Winter.
I started to wonder why people would want to live in an area where the temperature rarely gets up over the single digits for long periods of time.
Here are some must haves if you need to go to the frozen north sometime in the near future.
1) a HEAVY coat.
I live in Oklahoma, you know the place where if you don't like the weather hang around a few days and it will change. It gets cold here, but not cold like it gets in Chicago. You have to have a heavy coat. Something that will break the cold and keep the heat in. My coat is not a heavy coat, it is a middleweight coat, kind of like Sugar Ray Leonard. But in Chicago you need a Mike Tyson kind of coat, one that will bite the ears off of the wind if it has to. The happy people in Chicago in the winter are the ones walking around looking like the Michelin man. A Heavy coat is a must.
2) A furry hat.
Now you can do a regular hat but only the furry hats survive Chicago winters. I do not know if it is the fact that they were once alive, or at least partially alive still, but those furry hats will keep your noggin warm. I tried to wear different hats in Chicago but to no avail. You can wear a baseball hat only till the next gust of wind rips it off of your head. By the time you reach up to grab it, it will be in the next county and in 30 seconds will be somewhere over in Michigan. Plus baseball hats are meant to be worn in the summer anyway... You can try to wear a stocking hat, but only certain people can pull those off. You either look like someone spray painted your head a bright color or you look like you are somehow related to the clone heads from Jersey. And as far as keeping your head really warm, well they have a shelf life of about 15 minutes when at that time the stocking hat is colder than the outside temperature. You can also try to wear some of those "cool" hats, like a scottish driving hat (won't keep your ears warm), a beret (unless you are Phil Keagy or in the Special Forces please don't even wear these in the summer) or a cowboy hat (see wind notice here) nothing works like the animal pelt molded to your noggin. There is just something about fur around your ears and balding pate that just makes you warm. So when picking out your warm weather hat, go for the dead animal that has been turned into a beanie.
3) Gloves.
Gloves are also a must have in the windy city. And I am not talking those sheer skin driving gloves either. I am talking gloves that you can hold car keys in your gloved hand kind of gloves. Ones with fur on the inside AND the outside to keep your digits doubly warmed. My gloves are the nice looking, very distinguished leather looking gloves with a little fluff around the wrist area, that absolutely positively do not work in cold weather. I would have been better off making sock puppets and wearing them on my hands than those thin little wisp of what passed as a glove that I had. I would recommend again furry gloves that come all the way up to your armpits, if you can't get them that long at least settle for ones that will go up to the elbows. Believe me you will need it.
4) Boots.
You need adequate footwear if you are going to take on Chicago in the dead of winter. Lets just say that my topsiders and my slippers would not cut it, even with two pairs of socks. You need those boots that have insulation in them. Now in Oklahoma we have steel toed boots for rough work, in Chicago you need steel toes, heels, insteps and ankles if you are going to make it through the winter without getting frostbite. And don't get those slick soled bottoms either, get some that can grip in the winter, you might be walking on snow, ice or really cold mud that is only slightly above freezing that seeps into your socks and leaves you all day wondering if your toes actually ever did have any feeling in them. I have been in Oklahoma a little over 12 hours now and I still can't feel my toes, I hope they are still there.

So if you are heading to the great North, dress accordingly, or you might not make it back.