Hey, watch this...

Those three words have cost so many people so much pain over the years. So in thinking back I have listed my Top Ten "Hey, watch this" moments in my life.
10) Was with my brother riding bikes on day when I said, "Hey, watch this" and tried to stand up on the seat. I still can't figure out why the boys bikes have that straight bar and the girls bikes have that angled bar, it seems backwards. It REALLY seemed backwards then.
9) Was again with my brothers when we found some bottles and gasoline. A few minutes and a ripped up T shirt later I held a lighter in my hand and said, "Hey, watch this" right before I set the entire backyard on fire.
8) Was with a couple of buddies doing donuts in our cars one time when I decided to engage the emergency brake on my Mercury Bobcat (AKA Ford Pinto), I screamed out, "Hey, watch this" as I revved the motor, got a good run and yanked on the hand brake. After the fifth revolution and a bar ditch quickly approaching I was spared any further injury or car damage when I hit a dry patch of asphalt and came to quick stop. It was almost a disaster.
7) I was showing off to some opposing cheerleaders who were checking me and my fellow teamates out when I told one of teamates, "Hey watch this" as I received the ball in the layup line and attempted a one handed dunk. Unfortunately the ball hit the side of the rim effectively blocking my dunk attempt. Unwilling to give up I persisted trying to get the ball THROUGH the rim now instead of over it and found myself almost perpendicular to the floor as gravity took hold. I bounced up pretty fast after the crash; nothing hurt but my pride and my backside.
6) "Hey watch this" was the last words I said while trying to water ski on one ski. Oh and I forgot to let go of the rope till I was ten feet underwater. They never did figure out if my "watch this" was for the skiing or the diving.
5) "Hey watch this" was what I said before I took a bow and a target arrow and shot them straight up into the air one time. Silly me; I forgot that what goes up must eventually come back down. While scrambing for cover the thought occured to me that I might just have accomplished something no one else had ever done, shot themselves with a bow and arrow. It was a narrow miss.
4) I was riding a BMX bike through a make shift trail one time when I decided to jump a small ravine. Pumping my legs furiously I called to my friends, "hey watch this" as I approached the crest of the ridge. As I hit the bank of the ramp, my left foot came off the pedal in mid pump causing me to pull not only to the left but to decrease in speed as well. Instead of soaring majesticly over the ravine, I hit a tree to the left side of the ramp and landed IN the ravine, not on my bike.
3)I remember saying "Hey watch this" once while playing with an electric fence (yeah I know, country kids). So I was touching right next to one of the conductors on a fence post and apparently there was just enough charge leaking into the conductor that it made the hair on my head stand on end. With my 1970's bowl cut it was a really funny looking thing. I did it about three times when I saw some of my family come around the barn, and you guessed it, I ran to the connector, said "Hey watch this" and wham! Next thing I remember is someone shaking me like a rag doll and throwing me to the ground. It was the wrong connector...
2) I was playing with some friends one day when we decided to play stuntman. Stuntman is a game where you make up and do your own stunts. There were a lot of "hey watch this" that day with most ending rather badly. But I had this great idea to run along the top of a concrete wall and jump off the end into a tree and climb down. It was going really well till my left foot slipped off the wall and I fell into a rose bush in the neighbors backyard where their mean dog lived. I don't remember saying "Hey watch this" but I am sure I must have at least thought it.
1) And my greatest "Hey watch this" moment? Swinging on a wild vine in the woods. We had swung on that vine the year earlier after we cut it off with a machete and had a great time swinging out over the 20 foot drop off of the ravine. I remember seeing it the next year and remembering all the fun we had on it. Running to it first I cried out to my friends, "hey watch this" as I pulled it back, took a run and swung. It went well for the first five feet but I started to hear this cracking above me and I felt myself falling a bit but I continued out to the apex of my swing when I heard the snap that spelled doom for my return trip. I had cuts and bruises but no broken bones when they finally fished me out of the ravine. My grandfather asked me if I had thought that after cutting that vine off at the ground if it would still be somewhat alive a year later. I told him no, all I could think about was how impressed my friends would be after I said, "Hey watch this!"