Conflict...

Man, who does not love conflict?
I love to watch conflict happen, especially when it is not happening to me. How many times are you drawn to a story becuase of the conflict found inside?
Think of all the great movies. What do they all have in common? They all have conflict. Great books? They all have conflict. It is part of the story, it is part of the backround, it makes life exciting. Yep, I said it, conflict makes life exciting.
It is that part of life that is unpredictable and uncontrolable. It just happens and how we deal with it defines our lives in so many ways.
Now when I am in the midst of conflict, I am never happy. I do not like conflict, I avoid it like the plague. But in every season of conflict I have come through I have changed and learned from it.
I have become a "better" Pastor because of conflict. I have become a "better" person because of conflict. I have learned to be a "better" employee because of conflict. I have learned to be a "better" boss because of conflict. I have become a "better" husband because of conflict. I have become a "better" father because of conflict. In every situation that has arose the conflict within it has made be "better". That does not mean that they were not painful, that they were comfortable and everything was rosey as I was going through them, but they all made me "better".
That is the key, for you see in every conflict there is the opportunity for you to get "better" or for you to get "bitter". The only difference in those two is the second letter. For when you get "bitter" it most times revolves around the "I" part in your life. When you get "better" is when you resolve the conflict and the we part of it becomes the central part. When you are wrong you get to appologize. When you are pridefull you get to be humble. When you are right you get to be a gracious winner, and when you are vindicated, you get to be free.
But when you get bitter, it becomes all about the "I". I have been made to look bad, I have been attacked, I have been wronged, and I have done nothing wrong. Sound familiar?
That attitude can cause bitterness to creep in and the conflict will never go away because it soon becomes a part of you. Instead of freedom being found when conflict is resolved you stay inside a prison made from bitterness.
So the next time you are in conflict, choose to be "better" than get "bitter".

So what move what moves you?

Remember that car commercial a few years ago whose tag line was "what moves you?"

Well I got to thinking about that yesterday in relation to my life. What really moves me, to action that is. See there are many things that move us emotionally. A scarry movie, speaking of, I hear they are making a remake of the "Thing". I will never forget that movie the rest of my life. We were living in Odessa, TX and during one of those free cable months we got HBO. Well I waited till all my brothers went to bed and Mom and Dad had turned in and I snuck back out to the living room to catch some late night TV (who am I fooling it was probably around 8:30, Mom and Dad were freaks like that). So anyway "Thing" comes on. The premise is these people in the artic find an alien frozen in the ice, after it thaws it comes alive and starts killing everyone. That movie MOVED me. I did not sleep a wink for the next few weeks just knowing "thing" was out there stalking me. I was emotionally scarred.
And who can't cry when they have to shoot "Ole Yellar" in the end. Oh and "Chariots of Fire" when the race is going on and your heart starts pounding like you are running for you life. And how about the original "Rocky" when he is running through the streets of Philly. All those things move us emotionally, but do they "move" us to action?
I am seeing a trend in our society that people are not as easily moved to action anymore. Is it because we are more educated? Is it because we are more selfish? Is it because we are too busy?
I do not think so, I think it is because we are oversaturated with suffering and needs. I will never forget the first time I saw a starving child in Africa. It was burned into my mind so badly that I wanted to box up the leftovers we had after dinner (it was goulash I think) and send it over to those starving kids. My Mom said it would spoil before it got there (I am not so sure) and not be any good to them. She then said that we needed to adopt a child, send money each and every month so that they could be fed and taken care of. The problem being, there were four young boys in our household and if we sent off money to feed someone in Africa one of the four in our home would be going hungry (we were really poor, yet I did not know it till I was almost grown). Even though I was unable, I was moved with compassion to the point that I was willing to DO something to help. Today we are so inudated with the needs of the world that I think we become insulated to the suffering and needs of people today. It all becomes white noise to our receivers and just does not garner our attention anymore. So much so that we even filter out the needs of those that are living right down the street from us.
So wake up America and see the needs around you for they are many and be moved to do what you can to make a difference in someones life.

Allegiances...

I will never forget the first time I was with my future wife's family for Sunday lunch. After lunch it was onto the TV room for some football. So I walk in and say "who's playing?". My future father in law, and two brother's in law as well as a cousin or two respond, "the Broncos and the Raiders". Now let me stop right there and explain a few things. The Broncos and the Raiders hate each other and their fans feel the same way. It is not one of those type of hates where you hate on someone for being too good looking, or way to athletic or too popular. This kind of hate borders on the excessive type of hate like you have for that girl that dumped you to date that nerdy kid in your class. The type of hate you have for that kid that stole your bubble gum in class and then blows bubbles right in front of you to rub it in. That kind of hate.
So after they say "Broncos and Raiders" I blurt out to my embarrasment "Go Raiders".
Have you ever been in one of those situations where the music is so loud and the noise so deafening that you have to yell to the person sitting next to you to communicate? So you know how it feels when you are sitting there yelling to be heard and all of the sudden the music drops out and you are yelling at your friend who is sitting two feet away and all the people look at you like you are a moron. Well I got those kind of looks and then looks of menace and mayhem.
My father in law said something like, "what did you say?" and my two brothers in law started to rise I changed my allegiance right fast. I was born in the Bay Area, my mom and dad were Raider fans because only the wealthy were 49 fans. So to step foot in a Bronco fan's house and to date his daughter I had jumped right behind enemy lines. So I became a Bronco fan. I converted and placed my faith in John Elway and the Blue and Orange.
So yesterday was a little hard on me as I saw the Silver and Black just beat the stuffing out of my adopted Raiders. I wonder if it is too late to recant...

Difference between faith and trust

I was doing some study for a sermon the other day and I came to a startling conclusion. Faith and Trust are not the same thing.
I used to believe that Faith and Trust is the same concept, interchangable one with the other. But in studying I have found out that they are entirely different and that Trust believe it or not is actually a step up the spiritual ladder than Faith.
I know, I know, I am in major danger of going off the deep end here, getting a call from the head of our denomination for speaking heresy but hear me out on this.
Faith, the evidence of things hoped for, the substance of things unseen. Sound familiar? Paul wrote those words and I have lived by them. I have faith that GOD is going to bless me, he is going to keep me safe, he is going to keep me and my family well. I have faith that he is going to bless the flock he has entrusted me with. I have faith that the Broncos will pull out a win against the hated Raiders even though they are down 21 points... well I kind of hope they do... but really don't think they will. So my faith is not so well with the Broncos...
So that is really what faith is, the hopes that all those things we hope for and the unseen workings will work out for our good.
Well I came to realize this... I can be standing at the top of a 1000 foot cliff looking down at the rocks below. And as I stand there I can have faith that GOD will send an angel to catch me should I jump. I can have faith that should I fall that there would be a soft landing at the end of the fall and I would survive and be OK. I can have faith that halfway down I would grab a branch and it would swing me into a sea cave where thousands upon thousands of dollars of Pirate gold was stashed...sorry there I go hoping again.
Faith is one thing standing at the top of a cliff and declaring that GOD will catch you. Trust is a whole other ballgame. Trust is actually taking that leap from faith into action.
I realized that Trust is really when we put Faith into action. We can have Faith without action, but Trust kicks in when we begin to act on our Faith.
It is Trust that the three amigos stood down Kind Nebekenezer when he threatened to throw them into the firey furnace. They trusted that GOD would deliver them out of the King's hand either by being burned up or saved from the fire.
Oh GOD that I would have Trust to feed the fire of my Faith!!

Under the weather...

I just hate being sick...
Number one my wife is not the sympathetic type. She doesn't baby me around, make me chicken soup and keep orange juice and toast at my bedside. I guess that is OK, but it sure is nice to have someone wait on you hand and foot.
So as I sit here my nose is stopped up, my throat raw and my head is pounding. I have taken drugs to help with the symptoms but the end result is I still feel bad.
I think we can relate this to a lot of our lives. We have issues that come up and we take the necessary steps to correct them but they still plague us. Maybe not as bad as when they first started but they still cause us discomfort.
I know in my life there have been financial issues that still continue to raise their heads that cause discomfort. There are car repairs, house repairs, football expenses, cheerleader expenses and lets not forget college!! All of these are not incompacitating on their own but when they gang up together watch out!
I saw a cartoon the other day with a harried lady who was quoted as saying, "normally I take each day at a time, but recently a number of them have been ganging up on me." I kind of feel like that today, head cold, cough, congestion... all ganging up on me.
Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

A dangerous trend...

There is something that is happening among our churches today that is somewhat disturbing to me. I do believe this is just a trend or a fad or whatever you would like to call it but I have seen that once something like this happens others are quick to jump on board and they take it a step further and then once again someone else jumps on board and they take it a step further and pretty soon we are so far off from where it started that we are in left field.
What am I talking about? The use of secular music in our churches.
I have been told that if you think it is too loud, then you are too old. Well I have never gotten into that position ( I have been known to pump up the volume in my car ask my kids, nothing better than a little Stryper in the morning to get your blood going!) so I do not think I am too old to adress this. And as I was raised heathen so many of the songs I am hearing in churches today I was banging my head to as a young adult.
Let me put some examples out there. A few months ago there was a video of a church service where the worship band was playing "Highway to Hell" from AC/DC as an introduction to a sermon series. Now they did a very good job with the song and they seemed to be enjoying themselves but all I could think was, why? Were there not any other songs that would have introduced the series better? How about "To Hell with the Devil"? I think I have echausted my Stryper references for this post...
I thought it might have been a one time event but I also attended a conference a month ago where "Dream On" from AeroSmith was on the worship set list along with a "Star Wars" montage. They were all well done, performed admirably. But again I had to ask, why?

I had one of my worship singers ask me a few weeks past to do a secular song. When I asked why he wanted to do the song he really did not have a reason other than it was not what the congregation was expecting... So do we need to be "shocked" to pay attention today?
I know we live in a age where the Lady Gagas, the Marilyn Mansons and the Rob Zombies shock and awe us so much with the look at me and what crazy stuff I am doing that we can't take our eyes off of them. I remember as a young adult there was this guy named Alice Cooper who bit the head off of a live chicken. And this guy named Ozzy Ozborne who bit the head off of a bat. That was like so 80's gag me with a spoon and take away my high tops kind of shock and awe of the day. But I see it coming back in society today where we have to one up each other to get attention. The things done on todays stages make chickens and bats seem like child's play.
So as the church do we have to resort to shock and awe tactics to gain an audience? Do we not have enough Chrisian music writers writing songs to keep our attention today that we have to dig into the classic rock albums to stay relevant?
I am all for classic rock, but is AeroSmith really relevant today? I mean Steven Tyler is like 60+ and the rest of the band is up there in age as well... how would you feel if your Grandpa got up on stage and began singing "Dream On" in his highest falseto and his skinny leather pants?
And AC/DC? Well they were really good back in the late 70's and 80's. How do I know? I had their albums in my cassette tapedeck that I just upgraded from my 8 track player.
People that was THIRTY years ago, come on! Tell me they still aren't relevant today and there is not something else.
So as I thought about this culture we are in today, the church is usually about 50 years behind the world. And looking at the music choices being empowered in our churches we might have caught up a few years. So now we are only about 30 years behind!!
So I am thinking that this Sunday, I am breaking out the pastel blue sport coat, the white t shirt and I am going to push the sleeves up to my elbows. I need to find my white shoes and my white pants, I think they are in the back of my closet and I guess get a wig so I can feather my false locks back on my head like I did when I had hair. Dig out my 501's and my white hi tops and my Op T shirts and it will be on like Donkey Kong! I will be relevant again to kids who will say something like, you look like that guy I saw on TV Land...
What's next? Is someone going to start bringing back Parachute pants and we will all start doing Hammertime on stage as the spirit moves? I hope not, I am not sure my back can handle it anymore...

Waiting... part 2

I have been writing a lot of sequels lately... go figure.
But last night something really cool happened in small groups, guess what the lesson was...
Yep you guessed it, waiting on GOD.
I thought it was pretty cool that what I was dealing with was covered in the lesson the very day I blogged about it.
So what I learned, well I guess the waiting part is a test as to wether I trust or do not trust GOD.
The story in our lesson last night was about Lazerous. How he died and Jesus did not get there in time to heal him. I really related to how the author describe the angst that Mary and Martha must have been going through "waiting" on Jesus to show up and heal their brother.
I made this point. They sent a message off to Jesus and when Jesus received the Bible says he stayed there another two days. So Mary and Martha send a message that Lazerous is sick and they are expecting Jesus to come a runnin' as we say in the south. But Jesus doesn't come immediately like they expected. Can you imagine Mary and Martha watching the road for Jesus and his followers to come walking over the hill. They send the message and the next day they are thinking well if he is close he should get here today. And the sun sets ending the day and Jesus still has not arrived and Lazerous is getting worse. So the next morning they just know that this is the day when Jesus will arrive. So they set about getting the house ready, looking and yearning for Jesus' arrival because Lazerous is really getting bad now but still no Jesus. Imagine this if you will. Lazerous is fading fast, his breathes are becoming more and more shallow, he hasn't opened his eyes or communicated with his sisters for a few hours now. He is at death's door and I am sure Mary and Martha are just waiting for Jesus to bust in the door and make their brother well. Imagine you are sitting at the bedside of Lazerous and he takes his last breathe and dies. Mary and Martha at his point must be thinking, well Jesus must be really close now and yet Jesus still does not show up. An hour goes by and Lazerous starts to look real pale as his heart has ceased to beat. Four hours go by and rigamortis sets in. Eight hours goes by and the family is telling Mary and Martha that he is gone and we have to prepare his body for a funeral. The next day they have the funeral and they put Lazerous in the tomb and roll the stone in front of the door.
When do you think Mary and Martha felt that GOD had let them down? At the point of Lazerous' last breathe? When rigamortis set in? When they rolled the stone in front of the door. You kind of see Mary's faith when Jesus does show up when she said "if you had been here you could have healed him". To Mary the promise was dead, laid behind a stone in a tomb.
How many of us are in that situation today. Promises and dreams given by the Lord dead and gone, the breath of live no longer living in them?
I know that I have felt that way. That GOD had missed the deadline, if only he had acted then...
But with GOD, he can bring back to life the dead and buried dreams. He can breath life back into the promises of yesterday with just the sound of his voice because he is GOD.
All he had to do was say, "Lazerous, come forth", and he did!
So trust in GOD, even when the cold hard fingers of death have gripped your dreams and promises and remember that death has no hold on him who has the keys!!

"I hate waiting"... Inigo Montoya "The Princess Bride"

Remember the scene where Inigo is waiting for "the "man in black" henceforth known as Wesley" to reach the top of the cliffs so he can kill him?
Stop right now. If you have not read or watched "The Princess Bride" get your Kindle and download it or go to Blockbuster or your movie store of choice and rent it, either read it or watch it and then you can continue reading.
Okay if you have read it or watched it please continue...
So Inigo is waiting at the top of the "cliffs of insanity" for Wesley to either climb to the top of the cliff so he can kill him with the sword or for Wesley to fall which accomplishes the same result as the sword, death. So Wesley is taking his time climbing the cliff, which is a very laborous task. Inigo looks down on Wesley as he climbs and asked if he could possibly speed things up, meaning either go ahead and fall to your death or climb up here so I can kill you. I love Inigo, a man of action!
But what happens when men of action have to wait... and wait... and wait... well we get frustrated.
I have been waiting on a lot of things in my life lately. GOD has given certain promises and directives that I know are to come to pass but have yet to show up. I feel like Inigo looking at GOD and saying, "could you possibly hurry things up?".
It is frustrating to sit around and wait for something to happen. It is like watching paint dry, you can blow on it, wave a piece of paper and fan it, but it really does not dry any faster. All you can do it wait... and I hate waiting.
Waiting is a waste of time. It is non activity, it is fruitless. There is nothing worse than doing nothing. And yet that is where I am at today, waiting on a GOD who is not hindered by seconds, minutes, hours or even days and years. Time for GOD does not exist as he exist in a place where past, present and future all intersect. In actuality GOD exists in a place where he just revealed to me the directives and promises in days past. He is in that place where fear and excitement both ran the gaunlet of my emotions. He is also in the present where the frustration and anxiousness of something to come which has not yet arrived clouds my mind with doubt and fear that I might have missed it. And he also exists in that future place where the promises he made come to pass, where he sees the joy on my face as the dreams are realized. Where the excitement of the fulfillment of promise raises the faith level in my heart.
I guess as I walk through this I will hold onto the scritpture that says "they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall walk and not grow weary, they shall run and not faint, they shall mount up on wings as eagles..."
I may not be flying today, but one day it shall be.

Airports...

My daughter is going to take her first solo trip on a plane coming home from college to see us this Christmas. So I booked her flights yesterday and sent her the e-mail acknowledgement so she would know what is heading her way.
She sends a response to her mother that she received them but then asked, "what am I supposed to do?"

I have found that there are a lot of travelers who have no clue how air travel works today. As a frequent traveler (approaching 100K air miles this year) I will offer some handy suggestions for you so frequent travelers like myself don't walk by you shaking my head in pity as you get the full body search from the TSA..

1) Pack light. I know that airlines are charging for bags to fly now so many are resorting to trying to carry on as much as they can. You get TWO carry ons. Only TWO no matter how small that fanny pack it is considered a carry on. That small infant in your arms? Well unless he or she is crawling on the plane, you are carrying them on so they count as well, just kidding. Oh but that diaper bag counts as yours unless you purchased a seat for the little one. So back to the carry on bag thing. You get TWO bags to carry on and they have to fit in the overhead compartment. Do not stuff that bag so full it won't fit or you might have to offload your undies into your other bag while your seatmate checks out wether you are a boxers or briefs kind of guy. I don't even want to go there with the ladies.
2) If you do carry on TWO carry ons, you only get to put one in the space above your seat. The other MUST go under the seat in front of you. Now there are some seats which do not have a seat in front of them, mainly exit rows and bulkheads, but unless you are a frequent flier you are not likely to get those seats, and frequent fliers know the rules anyway so this really doesn't apply to most of you. So you put the larger one in the space above and cram the smaller one under the seat in front of you. Now at this point it is YOUR decision to bring on TWO bags, and that does not give you the right to take the leg space of your neighbors on each side as your own leg space has been confiscated by your carry on bag. No one appreciates when you rub your sweaty legs against ours trying to get a little extra leg room because of your oversized carry on. Oh and share the armrest, think of it like the DMZ in Korea, no one lives there, you occasionaly get to rest there but it doesn't belong to either of you, it is just a buffer to keep your sweaty parts on your side and my sweaty parts on my side.
3) Once we start boarding, get your behind on the plane and sit down. You know where your seat is (unless you are flying Southwest and then just grag the one closest) get to it and sit down. We are not shopping for furniture, all the seats are the same. And the number order goes, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, ect from front to back and the seats go ABCDEFG (just like the song) from right to left across the plane as your board. So if you are in seat 29B, just get on the plane and walk as fast as you can to the back, you are somewhere way back there. And if the flight attendant says, "please take your seats so we can leave the jet bridge" they are talking to you, yes the one standing in the aisle. If you do not sit down they will get rude and call you out in front of all of these people like Mrs. Smith used to do in fourth grade. Of course they won't make you wear the little pointed hat that has DUNCE written on it but we will all think it in our minds.
4) Be courteous of the person next to you. There are many of us that are business travelers who take the hour and a half flight as a little down time. We like to read, catch up on the news, listen to music and relax. The last thing we want to hear about it how long it has been since you flew, and where you are going. I am sure your cousin Vinny is an interesting character but unless he is in the mob and works as a hit man I am probably not that interested.
5) The flight attendants are there for YOUR safety. They are not there just to give you pillows or blankets or serve breakfast like down as Mo's Diner. Unknown to most people there are tazers on the airplanes and the flight attendants will use them on you. So say in your seat, obey them like they are a drill instructor and behave and you will be fine. Cross that line and you might find yourself strapped to the seat drooling out of the side of your mouth.
6) Going back to arriving at the airport, there are two lanes when you drive onto the airport, one for departures and one for arrivals. Think of it this way, the departure lane, that is for those that are leaving. And the arrival lane is for those getting home. Simple? No one likes the guy who keeps trying to pick up where everyone is dropping off.
7) If you are not checking bags there is this thing called the internet that Al Gore invented which will allow you to print your tickets BEFORE you get to the airport. Yes that is right, you can go right from the car that dropped you off straight to the security gate without bothering the nice ladies at the ticket counter. Leave that area alone for the poor people who did not read this blog and travel once a century.
8) At security the TSA will want to see your ticket and your PHOTO ID. And no, a year book will not count. Please have them out when you get to their podium or you will get the glare from the TSA as they are waiting on you. If you are still fumbling with your ID when you get to the security officer you will see a very indescreet nod from him or her to the screening area. What that is a signal for them to do a full body search on you because you broke their flow. And a full body search will mess up anyone's day.
9) Going through the screening area is a very important area to keep your wits about you. If you see kids, avoid that line at all cost. You can not believe how long it takes kids to take their shoes off, get all their electronic gadgets out of their little backpacks and get through security. Old people are even worse. They will almost come to blows with the TSA because they have to take their shoes off. One lady made a comment about "how stupid it was to take their her shoes off, what are they looking for a bomb?" The TSA heard that and she ended up behind the screen... just saying.
10) So we have already covered shoes, lets go onto other accessories. Make sure your socks do not have holes in them as you will not get your shoes back till after the screening. And if you are not wearing socks, well that is really gross for the rest of us as you walk your barefeet through the little narrow tunnel that ALL OF US have to walk through as well. Have some decency and bring some booties or something.
11) Ladies (and some guys, you know who you are) take your jewlry off and put it in your carry on bag BEFORE you get to the airport. It takes you like 15 minutes to take off the necklaces, the bracelet, the anklet, the earings, the toe rings, the belly button rings, the nose rings, the tree rings and all those other rings. Save some time and put them in a bag in your carry on and AFTER you get through security put all those things back on. Nothing worse than to stand behind a lady as she takes off all her jewlry and you start thinking, "man I am a schmuck, my wife doesn't have nice rings like that..."
12) Some airports are now equipped with full body scanners that will take your picture and even though you are fully clothed will show up on the screen with you naked. So don't go thinking you can hide some contraband on your person, they will find it and you will be in big trouble. Also when you stand there you need to put your hands over your head like you are getting arrested. I know it just makes it easier on the TSA when they find your contraband. Oh and guys suck that gut in, it might be a gal doing the screening.
13) On your baggage that you put through the scanners, you have to take your Laptops, MP3 players, gameboys, playstations, XBox, PSP, and any other kind of electronic equipment out and put them by themselves in the big grey tub. If you try to send it through and hope someone won't noticeit, well it is like when you put gum under your seat at a restaurant, we all notice and they will too.
14) Liquids, you CAN NOT take liquids or gels into the secure area of the airport. They have to be 3 onces or less and in a clear quart size ziplock bag that will be taken out of your carry on and inspected by the TSA. I can't tell you how many BIG bottles of shampoo have been thrown away at security. Think hotel size bottles and you will be fine. Nothing worse than to have to wait on your stuff to come through and see someone has a gallon size bottle of shampoo, a gallon size bottle of conditioner and a gallon size bottle of mouthwash and the TSA has to stop the line to check those things out.
So all in all flying is as frightful or as peaceful as you would like to make it. Just remember these simple rules and you will find yourself flying the freindly skies in a matter of no time. If you decide to skirt these rules, well have fun in the private screening area...

Fix it part TWO...the sequel

Well since I had such an outpouring of emotion in regards to my blog last week about fix it problems let me lay some new ones on you.
I have experienced the highs and lows of the fix it personality this week.
I have found probelms that have plagued me, and overcome them. And I have had problems that are going beyond the fixable.
My wife comes in the other day and says her car is broken. Of course that is something us husbands are just waiting to hear, it just makes our day all full of sunshine and flowers. NOT!
So my wife's car is throwing a trouble code and her check engine light is on. Always not a good thing. So I run the code down and find it is a sensor that is likely clogged. So I get out the old carburator cleaner which is guaranteed to break down carbon deposits making your car run smoother and more efficient. It will also peel paint off of a vehicle if you spray it on the paint by accident and will make you feel like your eyeballs are being removed with a spoon if you spray it in your eyes... don't ask how I know this, it brings up painful memories... I digress...
So after working on her car for a while I get the dreaded check engine light to go away and it has stayed away for the better part of a couple of weeks. So I have once again earned my "Mr. Fix It" badge from the Man Scouts of America.
But I have another problem. I have a brother I have mentioned before who has multiple problems. I have tried and tried to fix them for him only to have him break the things I thought I had fixed. So he called me yesterday, early release is supposed to be a good thing but I found myself thinking I do not have the ability right now to deal with this. He is two and a half hours away and needs picked up from the correctional facility. Well as I explained my delimma and that fact that I was a couple of hours away he fixed his own problem. He had someone else pick him up. He even found a place to stay for the night, and I am thinking he has done it!! He is doing it all by himself!! Then I found out that my Mom fixed it for him. She wired him money to take care of his problems. His Mom had come to his rescue once again.
Sooner or later there will be a day when my wife's car throws a code that is going to require more than carb cleaner to fix it. I will be forced to actually put a new part on it or replace the car altogether. There comes a point in time where you just can't fix everything, it becomes to expensive.
I hope my mother realizes this one day, sometimes there are things that money can't fix.

Super glue, duct tape and bailing wire...

I am a fix it person. Show me a problem and I will fix it for you, many times not having to buy a part to do it.
I have fixed a screen door with a little bailing wire instead of having to buy new door hardware.
I fixed a faulty muffler hanger on my old truck with some bailing wire.
I fixed my water bed one time with some super glue and duct tape.
I have used duct tape and a black plastic trash bag to fix a broken window (it is still there by the way).
I have duct taped hoses together, poles together and even used duct tape one time to fix some ducts... who'd thunk it?
I have used super glue to glue back together broken glasses, a piece of fine china my boys broke (sorry mom) and numerous fingers in the process (by accident of course, you have SEW fingers back on).
But many times when it comes to fixing someone's problem, it takes more than duct tape, super glue and bailing wire.
Many times I want to just take people and fix their problems for them.
Have a drinking problem? Well quit going to bars, the liquor store and don't hang out with people who drink, there you go, problem solved.
Have a drug problem? Well just stop. Just say No. Its easy.
Have a weight problem? Well quit overeating and exercise, its that simple.

But many times fixing our problems is more complicated than what I just mentioned. I have never struggled with an alcohol or drug problem but I have struggled with a weight problem. I know what my problem is (duh, I am fat) but I still mess us sometimes.
Like the other night I was returning from a trip so I stopped on my way home to get some fast food. I pulled into BK and took one look at the menu and felt a sensation going through my body like a crack addict must feel about to get a fix. I gazed on the menu board and decided I did not want to spend too much so I ordered off the dollar menu. I ordered two double cheeseburgers, since they were just a dollar each. But I really wanted a spicy chicken sandwich too, and since it was just a dollar as well I ordered one up. I did not order any fries because they are not too good for you... yeah I know small victories. But then, to wash it all down, well I think it would be stupid to order that much food and then get a diet Coke and feel good about yourself so I got a chocolate shake. It came to a little over $5 and I was pretty happy about that fact. At least until the food came out.
I dumped the contents of the bag into the passenger seat and placed the shake in the cup holder. I unwrapped one of the burgers and the first taste sent my whole body buzzing like an alcoholic getting another round. I quickly finished that one off and decided it was so good I had to have another.
Set em up barkeep, I think I am going to stay awhile.
As I devoured the first and then the second doublecheesessliceofheavenburger I washed it down with that somewhat runny chocolate shake. It wasn't the best shake I have ever had but it washed down the remains of the cheeseburger just fine. It was after I had eaten both cheeseburgers and drank most of that shake that I looked down at that spicy chicken sandwich. It was still appealing but I was pretty full at this point.I really did not need to eat it but I wanted a taste. So I reached over, unwrapped it and took a bite. Oh mama, this was even better than the slice of heaven cheeseburger. It was crispy with a hint of fire to it that made your nose start to water and your tastebuds sizzle. As I chewed that bite I looked over at the two empty wrappers and the quicky diminishing shake and thought to myself, "I really don't need this, I just want it". So I wrapped it back up, sans the one bite, and put it back into the bag with the other now empty wrappers and the almost empty chocolate shake. Quickly before my willpower was lost I put it in the floorboard in the backseat where I could not reach it.
As I drove home I pondered my actions. I did not need that much food, I really could not eat that much food, but I want ahead and bought that much food because, well it was cheap and I really wanted it. It was then and there that I decided I had a problem and it is one that duct tape, super glue and bailing wire will not fix.
I read about Lindsay Lohan today and I thought to myself, what a waste, she has no self control. Two weeks out of rehab and she is back doing drugs. I sure am glad I am not like her... but in some areas I think I am...
Something to think about...

Just take the ___ out!

Take out the _____.
You fill it in. Most time I am told to take our the "trash" because no one in my family can see that it is overflow other than my wife who happens to notice those types of things. So then I yell at the boy closest to me and request that they take the trash out.
But that is not the thing that I see most people trying to take out in their lives. Most of the time they are trying to remove God or at least replace him with something else. I guess it is easier that way, it gives us a glimmer that we are in control , because no one controls God. God just won't seem to come around and appease us with our fantasies that we know what is best for our lives. It is like that overbearing mother who thinks she can choose the people that you associate with, what carreer field you will go into and that you always wear clean undies in case you are in an accident. How many times do we actually listen to those choices that others made for us?
Well if you are having a God complex like this I have good news for you. You can scientifically eliminate God from your lives! Yes it is true, God really does not have any interation in our lives that can not be explained away in science!!
See the attached link for a great example of replacing God with science.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddIg3tzTggA

Yes you see, science once again proves that God really does not exist. Moses actually just so happened to be at the right place at the exact point in time when a 60+ mile per hour wind just so happened to be blowing in the right direction at exactly the time when they were pushed up against the edge of the sea. And when the water fell and covered Pharoh's army just so happened to be the time when the last Hebrew finished crossing and Pharoh's army happened to be in the middle and wind just stopped, and everyone got wet.
Wow, and people say I am nuts for believing in a God I can't see.
I really have a better feeling about God supernaturally intervening on that day than believing some gale force winds just so happened to blow hard enough to part the Red Sea. What are they going to throw at us next? That some explosion cast particles throughout the universe millions of years ago and some of that matter took up a place not too far from the sun to create a big ice cube but not too close to create a big oven but just far enough to create a life sustaining planet? Then I guess someone will come along and tell us that life on earth somehow evolved from some single cells of protiens into all the animals that cover the face of the earth today? And that we as humans really are descendants of that same single cell that made the girrafe, rhino and the blue whale and we became who we are as we went from single cell, to tad pole to frog to fish to lizard to monkey to ape to man. Yeah, that sounds believable... about as much as Moses just happening to be at the right place at the right time to cross the Red Sea when a big wind blew...

Twinkies...

We are finishing our "Snack" series at our church this weekend. I know, I know... a "snack" series? Yeah, we preached as a staff the first week on Zingers... and the second week on
"Ding Dongs" and this week on "Twinkies".
So the first week my wife preached that Zingers come out of our mouth more often than going in our mouth. A word spoken harshly comes out of nowhere, can hurt and can't be recalled once they left. She really nailed it when she flung (sorry honey, if I said "threw" that would not really tell the story) Zingers around the auditorium. People are still talking about it.
Pastor John preached on Ding Dongs, don't be double minded. Double minded people are unstable, kind of like a Ding Dong once you bite into it, it starts to break apart once the chocolate coating has been compromised. Double mindedness creates people who are wishy washy and tossed to and fro by every fad and new thing to come along becuase they have no foundation.
So this week we finish on Twinkies... you will have to come Sunday to hear it. But I will tell you this... Twinkies... cream filling, Yum!! And only 150 calories.

Satire vs Mockery

Was at a conference (Inluence) where a young man presented this thought to us.
Do you know what the difference between the two, satire and mockery are?
Well mockery aims to wound, where satire is a humorous way to look at something.
How many times do you aim at satire and end up in mockery? I know for me many times something starts off innocent enough in a humorous way and ends up going way to far until someone gets hurt.
I believe as the speaker said that many times that fear alone keeps us from using humor as an effective communication tool. But if our motives are good, and we don't push things too far, humor can have a great effectiveness in presenting a point.
Think of this...
I find myself many times breaking into my "business" voice when I pray. I lower the timbre a few steps, and my wife says I start speaking in King James. I thought it was absolutely false until we were sitting at Olive Garden and I started to pray. I felt my vocal cords loosen, and a "dear GOD" came croaking out of my mouth that would have made James Earl Jones proud.
I continued, "LORD, bless our fellowship (we were just having dinner, but fellowship sounds so much more scriptual and old testament sounding), bless the meal we are about to receive (wow I say to myself, as I don't know if I have ever "caught" a meal before) and bless it to our bodies and our bodies into your service. Ahmen."
I sat there after I prayed that prayer and thought to myself, it is all true! I do use my business voice and I speak King Jamesesnees when I pray. I just hope when the prayer gets to GOD he can figure out who it is on the other line...

How much for that human in the window?

I got to thinking about this the other day and I can't seem to shake it. How much is one human really worth?
See what happened is this kid was walking through my front yard, not on the sidewalk mind you but through the middle of my yard. My wife looked up from the couch and said, "there is a kid walking through our front yard". Well I was on my way out anyway so I kept walking to the door and headed to the car never seeing the kid until I remembered that our trash can was being blown down the street. So I decided to retrieve it and it was then that I saw the kid. He was bent down behind my pickup truck and when he popped up he looked very suspicious. Well I just nodded at him and headed that way to get the trash can that was behind him. He quickly started walking away putting distance between himself and I. I retrieve the trash can and dragged it back to the house but I can't help but notice that the kid keeps looking back at me over his shoulder. After depositing the trash can back at the house I get into my car and just happen to hvae to drive up the same street the kid was walking on. When I turned that way I saw him break into a trot and soon disappear around the corner of a building. Now I am starting to get suspicious when I saw him start running as it was as I just pointed my car his direction when he started to jog. As I started up the street I saw it; rolling down the street in my direction was a blue and yellow nerf football. This was the same football that had somehow found its way into my trash can that morning. One of the boys must have gotten tired of it or Mom had enough of it not being put away but I did remember it that morning sitting on top of the trash. Well our thoughtful trash guys knew not to throw it away and so they had tossed it into the yard where it came to rest, you guessed it, on the back side of my truck. So as I pulled over to retrieve said football my mind started racing on what I should do to this little punk that stole my football. That is what I really thought and said was, "you little punk kid". Well I went on down the street and the kid apparently thought I was gone as he poked his head back around the corner and after seeing me then took off across another person's yard. At this point I turned the car toward my destination and drove off in a fever as I thought about how brazen this punk kid was.
After a few minutes of stewing I realized that I had pretty much condemned this kid over a $1.99 Nerf football. I know stealing is not right and I am pretty sure that with the way the kid acted he knew it was not right as well, but over a football that could have very easily been thrown in the trash that very morning, I was willing to condemn him?
It was then that I thought about how someone gave his life for all of mankind, wether we were a murderer or a thief, an adulterer or a punk kid. He paid the ultimate cost, way more than $1.99 for the cost of our transgressions. As that sobering thought coursed through my mind I started to see a young boy without a football more than a punk kid. Who knows his story, I know I don't. Maybe he had never seen one before, maybe he had never gotten to play with one before. Maybe he has never ever owned a football, maybe he saw it in the trash earlier and realized we had discarded it. I don't know but what I do know is that young boy is worth much more than a $1.99.

Welcome to Heaven, can I take your order?

Our small group got to discussing this last night and a thought came to me. Do we live to serve our GOD, or does our GOD live to serve us?
Think about it.
Many times I have heard it preached that GOD is there waiting to fulfill our every need, if we will just ask he will provide. He is as close as the very mention of his name. If we ask him and believe with mustard seed faith, he will come through.
I know that these statements have originated from my own mouth at one point in time or another, and last night I was challenged to rethink my relationship with GOD.
We need to get this through our thick skulls, GOD is not a butler, standing ready to serve us as a moment's notice. He is not standing just behind us in a black suit and bow tie picking up our little messes as we travel through our lives. And yet most of the time we treat him like a butler.

Our prayers go like this, "Oh GOD, I need your help today. I have messed up really bad. I know your word tells me that I should control my attitudes and actions but sometimes you just blow it, ya know? So I really need your help GOD. This has escalated beyond my control and I need you to provide a way of escape for me. I know this is all my fault but remember you chose to love me first, just as I am. Oh and I know you have been working on me about my temper, but I am a work in process reemmber. I have done so good for the last five days, no problems and then all of the sudden this comes up and I lose it. But GOD I know that you are for me and not against me, that you will be my strong tower and place of refuge. Your word says that you have plans for me, plans to prosper me and bless me. So GOD, you have to do what your word says and take care of this. I really do appreciate it so much. Thanks, check ya later. Out.

So do we exist to serve GOD, or does GOD exist to serve us? That is the question I am posing to you today. Paul said that we were lay our lives down and live as Christ, meaning we are not worried about our personal preferences, our comfort, or our very lives. Nothing being more important that fulfilling GOD'S purpose. So as you think about this figure out which catagory you are in. When you are praying, is it like you are at McDonald's ordering from GOD or are you at the HQ receiving orders for duty.

Mistakes...

We all make them, mistakes that is. Some are small ones, like putting on a black sock and a dark blue sock when you are getting dressed in the dark so you don't wake up your wife (guilty).

Others are significantly larger like running a red light and getting in an accident (guilty and in my defense the light was in a funky location).

But the worse of mistakes is the ones that are life changing. Yeah I heard a lot of grief that day at the office about my one blue sock and my one black sock. And the humiliation and hassle of dealing with a fender bender is no fun whatsoever. But the mistakes that change lives forever are the ones that really bother me.

And I am not talking about those accidents that all of the sudden happen, I am talking about the self inflicted mistakes. You know the ones where you shoot yourself in the foot type of mistakes.

I have found that many of these types of mistakes boil down to one thing, greed.

Now we normally don't associate greed with mistakes, normally it is about materialism or money but greed can be a driving force in our lives and when it is out of control it can lead to many mistakes. The "want" for things, wether it is that item on the shelf, that boyfriend's love or a position of influence, the things that we really want can drive us to not think things through and make monumental mistakes in our lives.

One of the Ten Commandments that does not get talked about enough is the "thou shalt not covet". What GOD is saying is that we should not look at something and want it so badly that we will do anything to get it. The society we live in today is all about instant gratification, we have a certain time limit set in our minds on how fast thing should be. We think we should be able to get whatever we want whenever we want. I remember asking my Mom for a toy when I was a child and she told me that we did not have the money for it. I asked her, "don't you have any checks?" If I knew I would not get the spanking of my life I would have thought of stealing that toy just because I wanted it. That is a mistake I am glad I did not make, but many have.

I remember a girl I knew in high school who made the mistake of going too far with her boyfriend because he threatened to leave her. She wound up pregnant, the boyfriend broke up with her and she got an abortion all in the span of a few months. I know that she must live with that mistake the rest of her life.

I have lived my entire adult life in the business world and have seen people use one another to make their way to the top. One gentlemen I know told a lie about a fellow employee that secured a big promotion for himself. It was all good till the lie came to the forefront and the truth was exposed. The man who got the promotion was demoted and the one who whas lied about quit the company because they believed a lie. In the end the company was worse off than it started all because of one mistake made by someone trying to get ahead.

So next time you are tempted by greed to make a decision, remember it might be the biggest mistake you ever make...

Batten Down the Hatches...

There is a hurricane a coming to Oklahoma? It surely must be a sign of the end of the world as we rarely (like never) have hurricanes in Oklahoma.
Now we get our fare share of rough weather in Oklahoma.
Thunderstorms - Not the sit on your stoop and watch the lightening show kind of storms. Our thunderstorms are the kind that rattle your windows, blow water sideways and knock trees down in your yard. And they usually last a few hours followed closely by you guessed it, another storm.
Hail Storms - Now we do get the usuall pea sized hail on occasion. But we also get the softball size, knock a hole in your windshield hail. I remember one hail storm where the yard looked like someone took a sledgehammer and went around hitting the ground.
Ice Storms - I am not talking sleet here, I am talking everything getting an inch of ice covering it. It covers everything, from power lines to trees.
Straight Line Winds - Now this is a weird thing that happens here, we get like 80 MPH winds that just come out of nowhere. They are really strong and blow shingles off, knock trees down, and will clean your yard of an laying around items.
Tornados - I saved this for last. We have our fare share of twisters here, this area is called Tornado Alley for a reason. They come out of nowhere, tear things up and then leave the way they came.
So now we have Hurricanes coming to Oklahoma... big deal, NOT!

What was that???

How many times are we scared by things that go bump in the night? I know I have been. I remember waking up one time and there was a hooded man standing at the foot of my bed holding an axe. I laid there as still as I possibly could as every muscle in my body stood ready to jump up and throw my little brother at the serial killer. I must have laid there at least five minutes in sheer terror as the axe murderer just stood there staring at me. At about the five minute mark I realized that I had forgotten to breathe which was just as well as I realized my soon to be assailant had not taken a breath either. Finally the fog of fear in my brain lifted just long enough for me to make out that his axe head was not all shiny and sharp looking but had little tufts of something on it. Focussing as hard as I could I then realized that it appeared he was wearing two shirts as one was a slightly different color than the other. So I moved, slightly, like I was turning over in bed to see if he would react and nothing happened. It was then that I got a slightly different angle to look at my soon to be killer. He was not near as frightening from this angle. He actually was really skinny, bean pole thin. And his face although shrouded from the hoody was not really looking at me but looking at a blank wall. It was then that I realized that someone had moved the coat rack from the living room and put it at the end of my bed.

I had been working late nights and rolled into the house somewhere around midnight. Apparently Mom or Dad was cleaning the living room and relocated temporarily the coat rack to my bedroom, at the end of my bed to be exact. I was so tired that when I came home I walked right past it on my way to bed. It was only later that night when I woke up that I saw it for the first time. You see, there was a hat, actually two that was at the very top of the rack. We would just stack them up on it and someone had thrown their hoody over the top of the pair of hats making it look like a hatted and hoddied killer. Then the coats were on the lower sections and made up the body where a pair of them were sitting side by side with one side of the hoodie covering them. Violla! There you go, ready made axe murderer.

Oh the axe. Yes the axe was actually a glove someone had placed on one of the arms to let it dry. So I laid there in utter terror for over five minutes scared of a pair of hats, a hoodie, two coats and a winter glove.

So many times in life we are afraid of things we should not really be worried about. So next time you are sitting scared to death, think it through. You might be surprised that

Football is almost upon us...

Tonight and this weekend is the last of the preseason games for the NFL. Yeah I know for most of us it is a big as the big named stars will not be playing saving their energies for when it really counts; next week.
But I want you to consider something, each NFL team right now has 75 players on it. By Saturday night they have to be down to 53. That is 22 players per team that will find themselves unemployed come Sunday morning. So for roughly 600 plus players this last preseason game is a make it or break it weekend; literally playing for their NFL lives. Those guys who have a starting position all lined up aren't worried about their performance tonight, most won't even be in uniform. They will be on the sidelines wearing their team issued sweat suits and their 2 Carat diamond earings laughing and cutting up the entire game. But for those guys on the proverbial bubble it is life and death of their NFL carreers. One mistake is all it will take for them to find themselves out of a job and most likely out of football. One missed block, one missed assignment, one missed pass route, one missed throw and their dreams are over of being a NFL player. Talk about pressure. You make the team and even as the 53rd man you get the leauge minimum which is way more than you can make down at the 7-11. You make the team and for this year at least you know what your future holds and you get a chance to improve and make an impression on the coach. You make the team and you are a part of something that a bunch of other guys would give anything for. But if you are one of the unlucky ones, your future is left clouded, what are you going to do? Do you try again next year? Do you hang up the dreams? Do you try to catch on with some inferior leauge and hope someone notices you?
So as you Yawn your way through this last preseason game this weekend. Remember these are real people with real hopes and dreams. Root them on with all your might for next week 22 of them will be just like you, out of the NFL.

Happy Birthday!!

Today is the 17th birthday of my #2 daughter. So much has transpired in 17 years.

She had heart surgury to correct a heart defect at 8 days old. I remember getting the call while at work that I needed to come to the hospital as there was something wrong. I drove over as fast as I could and arrived to see an abulance sitting at the hospital. As I was going to the baby ward I passed a couple of EMTs who were taking my baby girl the other way unknown to me. Looked like they were taking some equipment, but under all that techo stuff was my newborn daughter. Then I get to the room and the doctor is waiting with my wife to tell me my daughter has a problem and is being transfered to Tulsa. I head directly there as my wife would not be discharged till the next day and find my little girl in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. She was there with all the preemies and babies with health issues and I could not believe that this was happening to me.

They eventually transfered her to Oklahoma City where a team of doctors did open heart surgury to repair her defects. She was not given a very good prognosis, the man who did her heart ultrasound said that not only did she have an artery and a vein in the wrong locations she was also suffering from numerous holes in the chambers of her heart. At 8 days old they did surgury, at one point she flat lined as they took her off the heart lung machine and they had to restart her heart. She spend the next 12 days with tubes going in and out of her, a few of those days on a ventilator in a small glass room with lots of beeping and nurses and doctors checking in on her.

On day 20 they said we could take her home. We loaded her up and brought her back to our home which seemed like we had not seen in ages. She acted like a normal baby other than all the medicines we had to give her and the check ups she had to endure. She grew up like all the other kids, and I have to admit I would forget she had open heart surgury till I saw the scar running the length of her breastbone.

She had another procedure when she was younger to check on her arteries and later received a pacemaker to make her heart stay in rythem. She just a couple of weeks ago received her new and improved pacemaker as her original was starting to wear out.
It amazes me that she pretty much has not allowed this liability from keeping her out of the game of life. From gymnastics, to basketball and softball to cheerleading, to acting and modeling she has continued to live life to the fullest. She inspires me every time I think of what she has accomplished in the short time she has been in my life.
She is smart, funny, and articulate. Beautiful and gracefull and is always a ray of sunshine on cloudy days. I can't wait to see what achievements she has in front of her as she lives her life to the fullest.
It seems like only yesterday we celebrated her first birthday and her mom and I both felt so blessed to have her in our lives. We have celebrated many birthdays since then and she is still as much of a blessing now as she was then.
Happy Birthday Cam, we love you and are so proud of you!
Dad

What does wiring a guitar have to do with a relationship with GOD?

As you know I am a guitar enthusiast. Let me clarify, I am a cheap guitar enthusiast. I just love the old Telecaster that Bruce Springsteen plays, buy one just like it and it will cost you something around, well lets just say my first house did not cost that much. And to buy a replica, well you are looking at somewhere around 5 large bills. I also loved the white Stratocaster that Jimmi Hendrix played at Woodstock, the reverse headstock just rocks! But to buy one to match, house costing again! And a replica, well you are looking at 8 large bills.
So what is a cheap guitar enthusiast to do? Well you build one yourself silly.
So I built the Tele first, shaped the wood, bought a neck (I am not that talented yet...) got all the hardware and electronics and put it together. Did the same with the Stratocaster. But to really get an electric guitar to work you have to do some work on the eclectic components... duh!
So I soldered and soldered (I hope I am spelling that correctly) all those little wires together, from the pickups to the switches, to the tone pots to the volume pots to the output jack to the ground points. Hey, there is a lot a soldering to be done on a guitar.
So anyway I am playing one of my guitars the other day when it starts making this horrible shriek during worship practice. Nothing I can do will fix it so I change guitars. Now my other guitar is making an annoying buzz, not something that really stands out but is annoying none the less. So last week I tear into the guitars to fix them problems with the wiring which brings me to my title of this writing.
If you do not have a good ground on your electronics, your guitar will have an annoying buzz that makes everything just sound bad.
If you do not have a good grounding on your relationship with GOD, well you will become annoying also. Grounding our relationship with GOD is so important, it keeps us humble not only in his sight but in the sight of others. It keeps us from getting so full of our self that we force all of HIM out. It keeps us insulated from the things of this world that will light you up as quick as a lightning strike if you do not keep yourself grounded in GOD.
And if you have a loose wire that connect with something that it is not supposed to connect to it will cause a huge SHRIEK!!! in your life. We are designed to connect directly with GOD, nothing else. But when we try to plug ourselves into something other than GOD, well that is when the shrieking occurs. It is loud and obnoxious, painful to hear and even more painful to watch as you try to make sweet sounding music and all that comes out is pain and agony. Loose wires in the relationship with GOD have a tendency to connect to things that they should not causing all sorts of problems. It might be a relationship, or a habit or some other innocuous thing that causes a short circuit in your life causing the unbearable shriek.
So get to work making sure your life is grounded in HIM and all lines are plugged into HIM solidly so you can make sweet music from your soul.

Letting go...

We took our oldest child to college this weekend. It was a mad rush of getting her car ready (it had an overheating problem and we were going to TEXAS!), getting her car packed and leaving on time. So we thought once we arrived on campus it would be all laid back and easy, NOT!
Who knew that a college kid would need so many things. Irons and ironing boards, trash cans and vacumn cleaners, hair dryers and laundry soap. Seemed like it was never finished, thank GOD for Wal Mart!
So as we spent the weekend with her there was an unspoken tension that filled the air knowing that on Sunday we would say our goodbyes and leave her on campus six hours from home.
We had a lot of fun, she made some new friends and in the end the letting go part was really all in our minds. We hugged, cried and said "love you, see you later" as we gathered our belongings to come home.
It is a weird feeling, letting go. She has been brought up well, is independent, a thinker, smart and hard working. She has determination, grit and guts. She is very rational, not critical, and not one to jump without first thinking it through. She is all of those things and yet it is scary to think she is going to make her own choices now. She is going to be making her own rules to live by. She is going to decide when she goes to bed, what she is going to eat and what she is going to do.
I guess as parents we are all working for that day when we are to let them go into their own life. But it sure is hard to let go when you have held on for so long...

Patience Grasshopper...

I am like an out of work Doctor, I have no patience...
I think it must be an reflection of the day and age we live in that I am not the only one without patience in this world.
Thinking back a few years you can see where I am coming from.
When I was a kid we had a party line phone. That was when there was just one line from your house to the switchboard. Sometimes you would pick up the phone and someone was already on it talking away. Well you would just have to wait... and wait... and wait till they got done.
I remember when we first got computers hooked to the internet, remember the bzzzzzz, beep, bzzzzz gurgle gurgle as it connected... yeah good times.
I remember when the phones all had rotary dialers, the 1's weren't too bad but when you had to dial a 9 or something, well that is why for an emergency you dialed 9-1-1. After that rotary had to be twisted around to 9 and then had to slowly make its way back to the stop so you could dial again, many of those people in need of an emergeny either died or got better.
I remember when the only fast food was the kind they delivered on roller skates...
Remember when their was no such thing as remote controls? You had to get up and walk to the TV to change the channels. We watched a lot of really boring TV when I was a kid because no one wanted to get off the couch and loose their seat.
I remember Mom making dinner and actually cooking stuff in the oven and on the stove where we had to wait for it...
I remember saving my money to buy that new bike, dollars, pennies whatever I could find till I had enough to actually pay for it in full.

The more I think about it the better the old life was.
On that party line, you actually knew what your neighbor was doing, if you lifted the phone really quiet like.
I remember where the internet was slower than getting the encyclopedia, forget downloading any damaging files, it wasn't worth the effort.
Rotary dialers? Well you really really really needed to call someone to use one of those.
Fast Food, I saw a restaurant the other day that had on their marquee "we knew you were coming, and your food is ready".
Remote controls, well I don't have patience for commercials anymore, I just flip to another channel.
Cooking on a stove top? Doesn't everyone had a nuclear reactor to warm up their chicken pot pies?
And actually saving money up to buy something? Why shoudl we do that when we can buy it now and pay later at a low monthly interest rate?
Some days I really do think the old days were better...

Cattle call?

When I was a youngun (that is southern for a small child) we operated a ranch in Arkansas. Nothing too big, we ran under a hundred head of cattle, grandpa had the big ranch, he ran about 300 head so we worked over there also. So I was around cattle most of my young life. And we had something that was a "cattle call". It usually consisted of a "whoop" with something after it. My grandfather could place his hand up along the side of his face, point his face in the direction where he thought the cattle were and give a loud "whoop!" and a few minutes the cattle would come over the hill heading for the corrall.
So the other day my wife says I need to take my daughter to a casting call, so I agreed. She later told me it was a cattle call as we did not have an appointment with the casting director so it would not be a big deal. Well I kind of got excited, I haven't called cows in a long time. So I started to practice in my mind all of my cattle calls. (I did this in my mind as you don't want to stand in the front yard yelling "whoop whoop whoop", it drives down your property values) for this opportunity I just knew I was cut out for. Why they were inviting my daughter to a cattle call was beyond me, but I just knew I would blow them away with my cow calling.
So we get to the hotel and there is a pretty good line already formed. We arrived early and I was sure glad we did as when we finally made it to the room where I assumed the "calls" would be made we were numbers 341 and 342. (for the record there were over a thousand people in line when we left!!) So we get there and stand in line with all these other people. There was this one guy who kept walking through the line and he would pull people out at random and take them away to another room. I just knew that they were doing special calls in that room, although I could not hear them. "Just wait till I get back there" I thought to myself, the people on the top floor will hear my "Whoop" when my turn came.
But alas the guy never did pull me out of the line. So we made our way through the line to a point where they gave us a piece of paper to fill out which had all sorts of things on it. They wanted to know my suit size, shoe size and even my dress size and my measurements. Well I have never wore a dress so I guessed a XXL would do it and my measurements were somewhere in the neighborhood of 50-40-45. The even asked my hair color, which I promptly wrote in as "bald".
So anyway after we finished our paperwork, we got our numbers and nice lady took our mug shots, face and profile just like at the police station. She pointed us to a door and I started warming up my vocal cords for the yodel of a lifetime only to pass through the door and find myself at an exit.
My daughter later told me that they just "called" it a cattle call as you feel like cattle walking through their little lanes they set up.
I am guessing whoever came up with that phrase never worked on a ranch, for when you walked through those little lanes there was usually a butcher awaiting you at the end.
So at least there wasn't a meat cutter waiting behind door number one...
I never did get to use my call...

Not Me!!!

It was not me!! I am telling you, I did not do it. I had nothing to do with it, I wasn't even around it when it happend! I am innocent, not guilty, or whatever else you want to call it. It wasn't me!! I swear!!

Have you ever heard that before? I have, coming out of my own mouth when I was a kid. See I had three younger brothers which meant there was a lot of things that happened that I really had nothing to do with. But this one day I messed up. I broke one of my Mom's things. It was really an accident, the ball should have missed the vase and bounced off the wall back into my glove like it had the forty times before. But this one time it took a funny hop off the end table and seny my Mom's vase crashing to the floor. I made a heroic diving attempt at a catch but alas came up short and the vase broke. It was at this point I had a decision to make, do I take the path of George Washington who never lied but I am sure was spanked by his Daddy for cutting down that cherry tree with his little hatchet. Or do I take the Al Capone defense and blame it on someone else and join the mob?
Well I ran out of the room and prayed that my Mom would not notice the vase that I left in pieces on the floor when she came home. So later that night my misdeed was discovered and all of us boys were lined up and asked who broke the vase. My youngest brother just looked at my Mom and then smiled at us when she said, "I know you did not do it as you were with me." One down, three to go. Well my next to the youngest brother pointed out that he was over at his friends house from before Mom left till after Mom got home. Two down, two left...
So it is down to my brother and me. Mom is displaying the evidence right before us. Telling us how she can't keep any nice things in the house because us boys don't respect her stuff and on and on. So then she asked the question, "who broke my vase?" Well my brother replied "not me", and then I went on the rant I wrote out above.
My Mom was flummoxed so she did the only logical thing, she said we will talk to your father about it. Well that really got me scared because who knew if my Dad might pull out some kind of fingerprinting machine or had the house wired for sound, he was kind of like that. Mom went into the kitchen to dispose of her now broken and useless vase. So my brother then accuses me of breaking the vase and he is not going to get a whoopin' because of it. It was as this point I decided to go all in with Al Capone. Yes, I blackmailed my brother. I told him all the things that he had done that Mom did not know about and if he squealed not only would I roll over on him I would make his life miserable. I may have even threatened to break his legs, but I can't remember if I went that far, I probably did.
So my Dad comes home and asked the simple question. "Who broke the vase?" Again we both denied it, wallowing in the sea of guilt and shame for our misdeeds. So my dad turns to my Mom and says, well there you have it, neither of them broke it and I am sure they would never lie to me". More guilt falls upon my shoulders as my Dad turns to console my poor Mother over the loss of her heirloom.
It was then that I realized I had gotten away with it, I had succeeded in my rouse, I had become Al Capone.
I lived with that guilt and shame every time I saw that end table where my Mother's vase had set.
It was many years later that I finally came clean with my mother. I told her that I was the one that broke her vase. It was as if a hundred pound weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I appologized and told her how it had happened and she said she knew. A week later she found my ball, with my name on it behind the end table where my Mother's vase set right along side the scuff marks on the wall where I was bouncing it.

So the next time you have the choice to be a George Washington or an Al Capone, take it from me. George might have gotten a whoopin, but at least he lived his life without a guilty conscience.
We need more George Washingtons in this life that take responsibility for their actions...

Enough is Enough

Been traveling the last week and haven't had time to update the old blog, so here goes...

I think I found out this week that enough is enough. I had to catch and early flight on Monday which meant leaving before the sun was up. I actually banged the door and woke up the rooster, who I am sure he was not too happy with me but hey he wakes me up all the time too!!
So work, work, work and finally about 9:30 that night I finally settle into a hotel room. Thats a 15 hour day boys and girls...
So then on Tuesday we have to start early, 7AM to look at restaurants, which means I have to be there early (don't want to be late) so the day starts around 6AM and ends that night again just after 9PM when I checked into a hotel. Another 15 hour day...
So on Wednesday I just have to fly home, but try as I may I can't sleep in, out of the hotel by 9AM because I had to get my phone fixed. try as I may to catch earlier flights doesn't work out and again I find myself not getting into bed till after 11 PM that night. That was the easy day, only 14 hours going non stop.
So I found myself last night driving home feeling really distant from GOD. I mean for the last three days I have ignored him. Not on purpose but when you are working every waking minute there is really not any time for anything else. I realized this as I was driving alone in the dark heading toward home when I saw a bright and shining star on the horizon and I started to think that GOD placed that star right where it is. So I started talking to GOD, just telling him my day, how busy I was and such which is kind of silly since he already knows all of that stuff. So as I was talking I got this distinct impression that GOD was asking me how I was. I mean it was like, "how are you?" in my spirit. And I had to admit I was not too good. I had turned off everything in my life for the last 72 hours that did not associate with work, including GOD. Now I am sure that GOD was watching everything that I did, he is like that but it made me realize that as a friend I pretty much had ignored him for three days... It was then that I realized that enough was enough and that I needed to reconnect. Thank GOD that he gives us a nudge when we start to get off balance to put us back into proper balance in him...
So when you find yourself going nonstop, take a moment to get back into balance with HIM, it will make all the difference!

Are you in control?

In thinking about the male airline attendant who recently went AWOL at JFK airport this week and it got me to thinking about being in control of the circumstances around us. And then last night in small groups what was the topic all about? Control.
So I got to thinking, how much control do we really have in our lives?
Not much I have come to realize. I mean yes we can plan for the future but can we control the future? I don't think so.
Can we plan our lives out with our marriage, our carreers and our retirement? Yes but how many times does that work out like we planned? Yes, I have to agree with our teacher from last night, control is just an illusion.
Which brings me back to the airline attendant. He lost control, but he also gained control at the same time. He lost it over a rude customer (as a frequent flier, to all my other frequent fliers out there, be nice to people and follow the rules, thanks) who felt they were above everyone else and more important than some insignificant flight attendant. Well I can tell you that person did not make their connecting flight or their meeting or their appoinment that they were flying to after the attendant made his emergency landing. He gained control over the whole situation, took control more like it. But sometimes there are things out of our control, like when the cops showed up at his house and arrested him. There we go again, control really is an illusion...

Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars?

Who came up with this crazy thought? Men and Women are not that alike.

Mars is an always hot desolate red planet, filled with gas pockets. Well OK maybe men are from Mars.

Venus is a large hot planet with an impenetrable layer of clouds covering its atmosphere. Once you get through the clouds 90% of its surface is covered by vocanoes, active most of the time. Venus does not spin as fast as the Earth, it takes roughly 115 earth days to turn a full revolution driving the temperature up to 464 degrees during the day and to -45 degrees during the night. The wind on Venus blows most times at around 217 miles per hour and it rotates in a completely opposite direction than all the other planets other than Uranus. Well maybe Women are from Venus.

Redneck Much?

We are doing a series on Sunday called the Redneck Christian series. It plays off the Jeff Foxworthy "you might be a redneck if..." where we are using it as "you might be a christian if..."


So anyway I went through google images looking for "redneck" pictures and I found some doozies. But what I have come to realize is that rednecks come from all aspects of society. Now hear me out. I centered my search on cars and houses. Those are the two most valuable investments most Americans have so it sums up most of our financial wealth in regards to the car we drive and the house we live in. Well looking at houses is kind of hard to tell if the owner is a redneck or not. Sometimes the outside looks all right but the inside might be a different story.


But in looking at the cars on that site, I have realized that there are a lot of rednecks out there.


I know rednecks get a lot of harassing but they are really ingenious people. Here are few examples.


Say your car locks all of the sudden stop working. You can't lock your car with all the valuables inside of it, what are you going to do. Well the dealership tells you it is going to cost $300 to fix it. Well a quick run to Ace Hardware and for about $10 you can get a length of chain, a drill bit and a master lock. Drill through the face of the door and then through the frame of the car. Slip chain through the two holes and put a padlock to tie the ends together on the outside. There you go, done. Try to get into that car with a coat hanger...

http://www.failfunnies.com/32/images/totally-secure-fail.jpg


Say your Air Conditioner goes out and you live in the south. You don't want to be sweating to the oldies on the radio like Richard Simmons driving down the road do you? So the dealership tells you it need a complete AC makeover, cost is $800, what do you do. Well if you aren't a redneck, you pony up the 8 bills. If you are a redneck you think, I have that old window unit that we pulled out of the old trailer, and I have that new generator I bought for the deer stand in winter, I wonder... viola Air Conditioning...
http://www.inquisitr.com/38418/redneck-car-airconditioning/

So there you go... if the world suddenly has a major crisis, all electrical, communication and technoligies goes in an instant, suddenly the American Redneck with all his ingenious skills will be in high demand!! YeeHaw!!

Fear of....fear?

I had an experience lately that brought to my attention the number one thing people are afraid of, and it is fear.
People are afraid of being afraid. Fear is a God given instinct that gives us pause when we put ourselves in a dangerous position. Like standing on the edge of a cliff looking down causes your knees to get weak and the need to move away from the edge. Like standing on the BIG diving board at the pool and deciding that it is way too high to be jumping from.
But we can't allow our lives to be ruled by fear, so much that we are afraid of anything that we decide to do nothing.
My daughter told me the other day after making a mistake in a ballgame that she was afraid of making another mistake. That type of attitude many times can put us into captivity. We shut ourselves out and decide the only way to not make another mistake is to quit playing all together. But once we get over the fear of making a mistake, we are free to make the plays that result in winning the game instead of losing the game.
I once read where the greatest basketball player of all time, Michael Jordan, missed more game winning shots than he ever made. Yep, he did not make them all. I know every time I think of his Airness he was drilling a jumper over Byron Russel of the Utah Jazz or Craig Ehlo of the Cleveland Cavaliers to win a championship. Let me ask a question, what if Michael had missed his first shot to win a game and decided to never try again? Well we would have missed some memorable moments that is for sure. But Michael got over his fear of missing, how? Because he embraced making the shot more than missing the shot. He got over his fear in doing what should in the natural made him the most afraid. He did not allow missing the game winner to define him although he missed more than he made, instead his willingness to take that game winner made him into the greatest basketball player ever.
So next time you are afraid to try something over the fear of failing, remember to shoot, and if you miss shoot it again, sooner or later you are bound to make one!

Summer is almost over...

Wow, where has the time gone? Summer is almost over. Kids start school next week and it is official, summer is over.
There were many things that I wanted to do this summer that did not get done.
I wanted to landscape the yard. Nothing major but I wanted to trim some trees, cut back some bushes, plant some stuff, build some stuff, but I got absolutely nothing done on the yard this year. I think part of it was the heat, it was so hot the other day I saw a cat swimming in a kiddie pool. But part of it was the yard was not a passionate thing for me so it fell on my priority list.
I also wanted to clean out my shed. It has gotten so full of stuff over the years it needs a good going through. But then again I was not passionate about it so it fell to the inactive list.
I also wanted to go on a long motorcycle ride this year. Nothing crazy but at least an overnighter where I could pack my stuff, ride a few hundred miles a day or two and camp out. But then again, priorities took the center stage.
I also wanted to work out more this summer. You know get active, walk, run, burn some energy but then again, priorities, priorities, priorities.
So I can sit here this morning lamenting on what I did not accomplish this summer, beating myself up for my failure and shortcomings. That is what most of us do right? But I am going to focus on what I did get done this summer.
I finished a bathroom remodel that has been on the books for five years.
I repaired a broken and unplayable guitar for my daughter.
I worked on my daughters car with her.
I played catch with my kids.
I took my kids and my wife swimming, twice.
I took my wife out on a few dates, not near enough dates but I am still trying.
I took my oldest son golfing.
I took my youngest son minature golfing.
I have played video games one night with all of my kids all evening a couple of times.
So all in all, I think I did OK this summer, I mean will the yard remember that I did not spend quality time with it this summer? I don't think so... but those others will.

Are you ready for some FOOTBALL?

Football season is upon us once again. All is right in the world once more. Now don't get me wrong, I love all sports. I even watch curling during the Olympics but Football reigns supreme!
I am not really sure why I get all jacked up for football. I played when I was younger but I really loved baseball and later basketball much more than football. But when it comes to watching sports, football is my preferred viewing.
So the top headlines for this football season will be as I prognosticate...
1) Will Brett Come back... are you kidding me? YES he will come back. For one more season to win it all, he has a team that came within an interception and one that he threw to add insult to injury from going to the SuperBowl. He just doesn't want to do the 2 a day practices in the heat. Look for old number 4 to show up about the second or third preseason game.
2) Will the New Orleans Saints repeat? Well they have a good team, another disaster in the Gulf but the Saints will fall short this year. Sorry all you WhoDat fans.
3) Will the Patriots find their way back to the promise land? Well they still have Tom Brady, Randy Moss and, and, and, Wes Welker. I don't know if I can name a guy on D. So I would say no.
4) Is Rex Ryan all hot air or is he onto something? Have you seen this guy? I love him! He is a little rotund, a little thick around the middle but he strikes me as a guy who would jump on a grenade if you were in a fox hole, let it explode and then jump up and say, "IS THAT ALL YOU GOT?" They are primed for a run at a ring, although I think their QB play may doom them.
5) First coach to get canned in the season? Well the Raiders coach, whoever that is currently is always a favorite pick but I also think the Panthers and the Bears better play well the first part of the season or their could be some changes.
6) Is this the year Payton Manning gets hurt? Of all the teams the Colts are the one that can loose one player and go from a SuperBowl team to the cellar of thier division. But Payton never gets hit so he is going to have to trip over a dog (ala Brian Griese), wreck his motorcycle (ala Ben Rothlisburger), or get in trouble with the commish for his "gangsta" birthday party (no charges filed yet Michael Vick) to miss a game. So to answer my question, no.
7) Will the Messiah get to play? You know Tim Tebow, the one who walks on water? As a Broncos fan, I am not enamored with our new head coach or the decision to take Timmy. He is a great college player, empahasis on college. As a pro QB? I am not so sure. But if the coach wants to win me and Bronco nation over there is an easy decision to make. Both of the Bronco starting Running Backs went down in training camp within minutes of each other. A position where we do not have a top ranked guy anyway. It is time to take one for the team, put Timmy in that halfback roll. He outruns everyone on the team already, is as big as some of the largest running backs in the league and can deliver a hit. Picking a running back in the first round with the number 25 pick and having him rush for a thousand yards his first year is a good pick!!
8) Will Big D who gets to host the SuperBowl this year have the "home" team playing? I don't think so, my condolences to those who worship the single star and gather in the church that Jerry built. Their team is good, but they never can seem to get over the top. This year is no exception.
9) Will the TO and OCHO or the OCHO and TO show work out in Cincy? I just have to think there are too many O's for that be successful. But these two guys love the spotlight so much that I think they might just push themselves beyond what they normally would to just outshine the other. I am sure the Commish is going to be watching their games very closely... get your popcorn ready.
10) So here it is, time to make my picks for the upcoming year. Representing the NFC in the Super Bowl this year, yes it is the old grey beard, the immortal one, number 4 and his Minnesota Vikings. And in the AFC, is the brash and bold, the young and the old, the New York J E T S JETS JETS JETS.
Have a good one!!

Trust...

Trust is an important thing in life. Sadly too many times our trust has been smashed to smithereens by friends, family and others who let us down. But without trust what kind of world would we live in.
I think it is important for kids to trust their parents, but sadly even that trust in many cases is fractured forever. I remember playing this game with my daughter when she was still really young. She would climb up on this couch we had, right up on the top of the back on the end and she would jump right into my arms as I sat on the chair next to it. Well one day we were playing this game and she kept jumping and jumping and finally she got tired of it and went and found something else to do. So I got involved with a discussion with a guest and unknown to me my daughter decided to revisit the jumping off the couch game. Luckily for me the saucer shaped eyes of my guest gave away what was happening behind me as I turned and luckily caught her before she hit the ground. As I lifted her up to chastise her that she can't jump when Daddy is not looking, the angelic look on her face that told me she knew I would catch her caused the words in my throat to disolve. She trusted that no matter how close to the ground she might have fallen I was going to catch. And catch her I did, at the very last moment. She had complete trust in me.
I think it is important for husbands to trust their wives. I know, I know, I have counciled numerous people whose trust in those relationships has been betrayed. Many are unwilling to trust ever again for fear of being hurt once again. But I still believe that when a marriage is made if there is not any trust between spouses that marriage is doomed for failure. Sometimes my wife and I have to tell each other things that we really do not want to reveal. Fears, mistakes and common everyday issues are brought up but because we are willing to share them with each other we do trust one another with everything in our lives.
So I have said all of this to make this point. If as a child we need to put complete trust in our parents, and as a spouse we need to completely trust our mate, why do we have such a hard time completely trusting GOD with every aspect of our lives? Come on, I know people well enough that there are parts of their lives that they refuse to turn over to GOD for one reason or another. Most times that reason is rooted in the big T word, trust. Do we trust GOD to handle our problems or do we not. You see GOD is our heavenly Father and we are his children. And as children we need to trust our father to have a healthy relationship. I have never put my children in harms way and they trust me to never put them there. I have never purposely caused my children pain, and they trust me even with their most painful injuries to treat them with care and respect. And although I believe if you asked my children they would say that they trust me whole heartedly, I believe there are many of GOD'S children who do not trust him in the same manner. That is a sad statement of a relationship a GOD who loves us.
Also as a husband to my wife there needs to be trust in that relationship to be healthy as well. The New Testament calls the church the bride of Christ. Now as a large man, I always have a hard time envisioning myself dressed in a wedding dress about to marry Jesus. I can imagine him lifting the veil and going, "ohhhh" as he sees my bald head and my gotee. But as the Son of GOD, and as the bridegroom of the church, he is the one that will bring wholeness to the body of Christ. And as the bridegroom of the church, we need to trust him as well. My wife knows that every decision I make is based on how it will impact both of us. She knows that every fork in the road that is presented to us will be a fork that both of us take no matter what. She trust that I will never knowingly do anything to hinder our relationship. Jesus is the same way to his bride, the church. We just need to realize that he means for our best, even though sometimes the road is hard, our best interest he has in mind.
So what are you failing to trust in? Are you willing to trust GOD in EVERY aspect of your life, as a child trust a parent or as a wife trust her husband?
Think about it.

One is the loneliest number...

That old Three Dog Night song has a lot of truth in it. One is indeed the loneliest that you have ever knew.
I am by nature a loner. My father was that way. Even though he had four sons and a wife he was never really happy being around people. He was an intelligent man, could crack a good a joke and was a wiz in the kitchen making up party snacks. But my Dad hated being around people. We usually saw each other in passing during my teenage days. Dad was off to work usually between 6 and 7 AM, came home around 6 PM and watched a little TV before he turned in at 8. I know my Mom struggled with his actions, being "available" for an hour or so each night was not enough for her or her four sons. And soon you could see it in our lives that we all took on the character of our Father, we all did our own thing and very rarely did something together.
My Father and Mother divorced after I had left the house, I am not really sure what happened in the last couple of years of their marriage but I am sure not much changed. I really thought my Father would never remarry, being alone suited him. But apparently the loneliest number is truely one. He remarried within two years of his divorce and was the same with his second wife as he was with his first. Always aloof, seperated, never really engaged.

I learned a lot from my Father. First I learned that even though I sometimes like to be by myself, I am not happy when I am alone. I can be in a room full of people and still feel alone, but that is not reality. The reality is although I may feel alone I can never be alone in a room full of people unless I decide to be alone.

I also learned that you can be all alone in a house full of kids and a wife, if you want to be. You have to decide to be alone with all those people around you, but if you decide to be alone, you can be. I have decided to not be a recluse in my own home, to have an effect on my kids, and be a husband to my wife, not just a provider.

Yes one is the loneliest number, if you allow it to be.

Preventative Maintenance

I envy those people who are all over preventative maintenance. I have great aspirations of doing preventative maintenance but never seem to get there.
There are two hard parts to swallow being like I am.
Number one is things will break down without preventative maintenance. I hate it when that happens. Nothing ever breaks down when it is convienent. It always breaks when it is the most inconvienent time and is most desperately needed.
Secondly, I have the guilt issue to deal with. Because I am always second guessing myself IF I had done the preventative maintenance it may not have broken in the first place.
So what can I do to get into that preventative maintenance frame of mind?
I need help!