I took my brother to jail today...

I took my brother to jail today. I blogged earlier that I was proud of him for entering the teen challenge program to get his alcohol problem resolved. Well yesterday he was going through the entry process when he mentioned that he had a court date in the morning. That got the wheels turning pretty quick as the councilors have to make arrangements to get their students to the courts and with under 24 hours to prepare for a six hour car ride they were a little freaked out to say the least. What freaked them out even more was finding out that my brother had a warrant issued for his arrest for probation violations three weeks ago. Apparently he never got approval from his probation officer to attend a rehab program. When my brother told me he got approval we assumed the courts were in agreement, that was not the case. In doing the due dillagence what we found out is my brother pretty much ignored the court's mandates and was "willingly" entering a program to stay out of jail. Apparently he was arrested last November on a warrant and was given a second chance to take care of the court ordered mandates from the year before. He ignored them once again, proclaiming his innocence (he pleaded guilty), the stupidity of his lawyer and the money grabbing court system getting the blame for all of his problems. After we made the six hour drive back home I told him he had a choice to make, he could keep ignoring the problem that would never go away or he could step up and take care of it. Again he wanted to ignore it claiming that it was not important, his crimes were misdemenors and no one would come get him for those in violation of probation. His plan was to jump state and live with my mom. The only problem is my mom said living with her for the last two and a half years done her in to his problems and he could not stay with her any longer, that he needed to take responsibility for his own self made problems. So then it is back to me. "I guess I can stay with you?" he asked on the way back. "Yes" I said, "for one night" meaning he would in the morning have to make a decision on where he would go. I counciled with him and told him to face his fears (three years in prison) and deal with his issues or keep running and never find freedom. I finally convinced him to turn himself in was the best thing he could do and hope for mercy from the courts. We made the journey to the jail in silence as the tension weighed down on both of us. For me it was a freedom of having to take care of him, plan for him, baby him. For him it was giving up his freedom to face the unknown. It was somewhat bittersweet in that moment when the cell door clanged shut locking him behind prison bars knowing that he was finally taking his first steps to a life of freedom by giving up his freedom.
I pray that he will find mercy in the courts. I pray that he will find help to help him be able to deal with life so he can start over and live a life filled with hope and not despair. I pray that those around him encourage him to take the path least traveled as that is the one that leads to true freedom. I pray that I will never have to take anyone else to jail...

Tomorrow it starts..

Tomorrow my brother is entering a Teen Challenge program to get treatment for his Alcohol problem. I am really proud of him for finally acknowldeging that first he has a problem, and then secondly doing something about it. What really made me think of blogging about this family issue is something he said to me. The program is 13 months, and he was somewhat taken aback by the length of time it was. "It is a whole year of my life" he said to me once. That got me to thinking.
What is a year of your life worth? In the span of an adult life we spend more than a year sleeping. We spend more than a year probably watching TV. I know my kids probably have already spent a year of their lives playing games on the Playstation or the Wii.
So is a year of your life spent in treatment worth it? I think so, we spend so much of our other time doing other things that really won't affect our lives that much. But getting a problem fixed, well that is a life changing.
So I am hoping that his life will be so different in 13 months and it will be a good investment in the course of his life.

Changes in the weather...

Well we have been having some end times like weather here in OK. Lets see, we had almost a foot of snow at Christmas, another 6 inches a few days after, some other snowfall through January and then we had 6 inches of snow the first day of Spring, March 20th. MARCH!! What happened to Global WARMING? It has been so cold this year that I saw snowmen wearing sweaters.
So Sunday before last we had to cancel church because of the snow. Now many would ask me, why do you cancel church for six inches of snow. Well first, we do not have snow removal tools for people to not have to walk through the snow to get to the building. Second our building faces the North which usually means with six inches of snow we will have two foot drifts in front of the church and thirdly I have some elderly people who feel if the doors are open they need to be here. I went to a church that never cancelled, and it scared me every time that someone would fall and get hurt. We have had people fall on a regular sunny day so I decide not to risk it. So we cancel on occasion.
But what was weird was on Monday the high got to the low 50's and melted all the snow away, and a week later the high was in the mid 60's on Sunday this weeked. We are supposed to get to the 80's before the next weekend.
So what gives, well it is Oklahoma, as they say, "if you don't like the weather, hang around a few days, it will change."

Matchups...

So I have been following the NC2A basketball tournament the last few weeks and I am amazed at the teams that have made it through so far and those that have fallen out. The mighty Kansas Jayhawks, probably the number 1 team in the country gets knocked out by a cinderella team that no one picked to be there. We saw Syracuse, another team that spent some time at number 1 and they don't make it either. How about Kentucky? They have the best freshmen in the nation but they won't be playing for the championship either. See the NC2A tourney is all about matchups.
All teams have a weakness, wether it be a soft inside game, or a poor ballhandling game, or bad outside shooting each and every team has a weakness somewhere. The difference is the good teams can hide their weakness, accomodate for their weakness, keep their weaknesses from being exposed. The good teams also are able to attack and expose the other's teams weakness.
How do they do that? By practicing and watching and planning.
We all have weaknesses in our lives, and what we need to do is be able to improve on our weaknesses. The great teams see their weaknesses for what they are and they improve them so they are no longer a weakness in their game.
So go out and work on your game, work on your weaknesses so you can be complete and then the opposition won't be able to be victorious when the game is on the line.

So the other day...

OK, I need to rant a little...
I was listening to this woman at a restaurant in the airport behind me go off on this guy who was on the earlier flight with her who could not keep his eyes apparently off of her chest. She was just going on and on about every time she glanced his way he was staring at her chest. She was talking about how big a pervert he was, that he was probably some kind of child molester and a guy who "must have some problems" according to her.
I loved evesdropping on thier conversation until I got up to leave. As I turned around I took a glance at the gal who felt so "violated" by her fellow flier. She was wearing a cotton T shirt with a neck cut that would fit an NFL offensive lineman's neck as it ran down to about the top of her stomach. To paint a picture, it appeared that she had strapped two volleyballs to her front and they were threatening to jump out of their holsters and bounce all over the floor.
Now here is the point that I want to make. When you wear something like that, people are going to look, especially those of the male persuasion. I just don't understand why girls would wear something like that and then be insulted when someone stares or glances at them.
So ladies and guys, if you want to avoid the stares that come with provacative clothing, wear a turtleneck...
OK rant over.

Purpose?

I have been thinking a lot about purpose lately.
When you read the Bible, you see the great stories of people of purpose. The Old Testament prophets who parted seas, kings who slayed giants, prophets who did miracles. In the New Testament you see men like Paul and Peter who did great things. So I started thinking, why is the church not doing these great things today?
We were in a small group class one evening when one of the children (we usually don't have kids in our adult small groups but she was being rowdy and got stuck with Mom and Dad) speaks up in the middle of our discussion and says quite loudly, "BORING!".
We all kind of chuckled but it has haunted me. Christians today do live Boring lives and it should not be that way. We find ourselves bound by our own prison walls of work, home and church and never get far enough from the shore line to experience anything new.
When we were in the middle of building project, life was anything but boring. There was work to do, bills to pay, shedules to keep. I have never been so proud of my people as seeing the grandmas making dinner in an unfinished kitchen, teenages painting doors and men and women laying carpet base to get ready for our open house. But once the building was completed life got boring again.
We do have our fare share of excitement, just this past week we had two people in the hospital. We had a family who were having some drama that spiced things up but what I found is I like boring. I am comfortable in boring. I love boring and it should not be that way.
So I have purposed in my heart that life is going to quit being boring and we are going to become a church where crisis, drama and conflict become a way of life as we are going to get out of the normal and get out into the world to make a difference.
So what are you doing today? The same old boring thing? Well join us in getting out of the rut and into the fray.

Real life...

I have to tell you, sometimes real life is scary. You know we watch TV, go to movies and have our hobbies to escape from real life but sometimes it sneaks up on you. When it does it is like that ax murderer film where at the time you least expect it the bad guy shows up and slices and dices his way across the screen.
My wife and I are experiencing that right now. I feel like I am running in quicksand and not getting anywhere. I feel like my mouth is open in this horrifying terror induced scream but no sound is coming out. I see the world around me spinning faster and faster outside of my control.
You see, my oldest daughter is graduating high school in a little less than nine weeks. Yep, in nine weeks the little girl who was just learning to brush her hair and teeth, ride a bike, hit a ball is going to be an ADULT! (Insert woman's high pitch scream that last forever here!)
Now I realize that just graduating High School does not make one an adult. I know people that are less mature going on 50 than they were going on 5, but at graduation the world recognizes you as an adult (insert I still can't believe this is not butter ad here- that is how I feel, I can't believe it).
My daughter is filling out scholarship applications, making plans for the future and she is not doing them the way Mom and Dad feel she should. I guess that is real life, and why it is so scary. It is turning your child free to make their own decisions. You just hope when the scary music starts that that they don't go to the window to investigate that strange sound from outside...

So how do you want it?

I remember being asked this as a child when I got into trouble. It usually revolved around me doing something I was not supposed to do and getting in trouble for it. I usually had two choices, one was to get detention, grounded, miss recess, something along those lines. The other involved my backside receiving a blow from a hand, paddle or fly swatter. I to this day can tell you which was worse. Sitting around in detention, or being grounded or missing recess was always worse. I believe it was because I had to sit around and think about what I had done. Whether it was for a day, or an hour or a week, knowing you were in trouble and still having to pay for it long after it happened was torture for me. I would rather take a paddling any day, it was painful but it did not linger as long as being grounded. It was humiliating, but only for a couple of seconds and then you were off to do whatever again. It was carried out quickly and the punishment ended just as fast.

As an adult though I have found out that sometimes my resistance to punishment has increased (that means my behind has gotten bigger and more padded) that GOD has to resort to extreme measures to correct me.

I find myself now thinking more about my lack of discipline, pondering the mistakes I have made more and being more introspective of myself and my shortcomings. I have found that is a miserable place to be. It is kind of like watching all the kids from the windows of the classroom while they are on recess. They are all out there playing, swinging, running and you are locked down in a maximum security classroom.

I long for the day when I will be released from this time of inner examination. I look forward to the day when I can just go play because I have fulfilled the demands of my sentence.

Next time GOD, I think I will take the spanking. Maybe...

UNDER the OVERpass

I just recently saw this book sitting on my coffee table. Where it came from I found out later to be the school's library (go figure that!) but on the cover was this hippie looking guy in shorts, a cutoff T shirt and flip flops strumming a guitar sitting on a backpack. What I came to find out was this guy was Mike, a college student whose faith was challenged one day sitting in church. Yeah I know, having your faith challenged in church, who would have guessed it. Well Mike wondered if he could be "content in all things" as Paul had written. So Mike decided he would take a semester off from school and travel to five US cities as a homeless person. Could he survive on nothing? He had a partner go with him, Sam from OU, and their journey began at a drug treatment center in Denver. I was first drawn to the story with the thought how they were going to survive and if they would make it. Life on the streets is hard, rough and down right dangerous and here were two college kids taking it on face to face.

I won't ruin the story for you, you will have to read the book. But I did bring something out of it. How do we as the church react to those that are less fortunate?

Unfortunately in the book many times that the duo encountered the church the results were not so good. Actually it seemed that the members of the homeless community acted more like true Christians than those who filtered into the large cathedrals and proclaimed the name of Christ.

I know that I have many times have wondered what horrible things the homeless must have done to arrive there. I know others who have called them lazy, druggies and other derogatory things just because they do not have a roof over their heads to call their own.

I have come to realize that we live in an entitled society. We feel we are owed a roof over our heads, food on our table and the happiness that everyone else seems to have.

What bothers me is I see that same mentality in the church. It is not "but for the grace of GOD go I" but a warped mindset that those less fortunate are somehow under a curse of the maker. I know there are many who made bad decisions in their life that led them there, but there are also those that are there by circumstance. I hope that I never have to sleep on the street, scrounge in a trash can for a meal, or fights rats off of my bed at night, but I used to also feel somewhat entitled since I work hard and provide for my family. I needed to realize that my source is not my job, my talents, or my genius (I am really smart :-) or so I think) but my source is my GOD. Mike and Sam proved it over and over again how GOD provided for them on their journey. GOD was their source in every situation in life. I think when we begin to think that way our attitudes toward those less fortunate will change, but for the grace of GOD go I.

So I will challenge you, look through the eyes of Christ, where every person is formed and shaped in the image of GOD.

Bad things...

I have been asked this question for some time now and I feel it is time to address it.

What do bad things happen to good people?

I know we ask that of ourselves so many times. We are doing our best to live good lives and out of nowhere something bad happens.

I have been swamped with these situations this past week. Let me give you a couple of example.

One of my coworkers has been diagnosed with cancer and given a year to live, he is three years older than I am. Has a wife and a young son, mid forties is way to young to be evaluating the end of your life. We have a mother with a new born son who is in the hospital battling pneumonia. They are running test after test and everyone is scared to death of what they will find. We have another family that is going through a bad situation that just recently came to light. We have another couple who are expecting their first child in a few months who just had to come up with a significant amount of money to cover some dentist bills and a hot water tank that just died.

I won't even get into natural disasters like the earthquake in Haiti, or the mudslides, flooding and other disasters that have ravaged the earth.

So the question is why? Why would GOD allow such things to happen to good people.

I can only say this, I can't see what the future holds, but GOD can. He does not exist in a single space of time but he exist in all times, past, present and future. And the situations that happen in our small point of time affect the situations that happen in the future.

I had a man tell me once of being in Dallas on the outer loop traveling along and finding himself in an exit only lane and unable to get out of it. So you guessed it, he got off on that exit, had to backtrack to get back on the outer loop and added about five minutes to his trip. As he finally got back on the outer loop, a couple of minutes later the traffic came to a standstill and he was caught in a traffic jam. When he finally got to the problem he found out that a plane had crashed on the road trying to land. When he read the reports later he realized that he would have been right in that area of the crash had he not taken the exit by accident.

I know you are thinking that no one lost their life. No child was left fatherless or motherless. No husband lost his wife or vice versa. That seems to be the most tragic thing that can possibly happen. Whether it be from sickness, accident, disaster, the death of a loved one is hard to explain.

So I pondered this and thought, what did GOD feel when his son was dying on the cross? He could have stopped it with a spoken word. He could have changed the scenes that would be played out when JESUS prayed in the garden, "take this bitter cup from me..." So if GOD had changed what would the consequences have been. First we would not have the sacrifice of the perfect lamb to wash away our sin. Secondly, there would be no bruises and stripes to pay for our healing. And thirdly JESUS would not have died and therefore would not have rose from the dead on the third day giving us the hope of a resurrection as well. If JESUS had not have died, he would have continued his earthly ministry and the gospel would have never gone beyond the area of Judea and Jerusalem. JESUS would have lived to a ripe old age I am sure but the promise of healing, resurrection and the sacrifice for sin would have been compromised. Did JESUS suffer while in the hands of the Romans and the Pharisees? You bet he did, and he did not deserve any of it. It is the classic case of bad things happening to good people. But GOD sees ahead of time, and as soon as Christ ascended he was made aware of what his sacrifice meant in the span of time. And because of his sacrifice we who surrender our lives to him are promised of an eternity in his presence, never to face sickness, disaster or death ever again. So yes, bad things do happen to good people, and in many cases even better things happen farther ahead in time because of our trials today. Just remember it is all in GOD'S hands, and he works for the good of those that love him.

Weird...

I am writing this blog report from my wife's old computer which has one of those angled keyboards. Needless to say my fingers are wondering what we are doing on this funny layed out thing. It is amazing how comfortable we get with the norm.
Normal is like plain old tap water, pretty good but add a little tea bag, some sugar and it gets a whole lot better. The only problem is that many of us never get out of the norm to experience anything different.
I remember the old TV show, Cheers. In that Sam Malone (why I remember this stuff and can't remember what my passwords are, where my car keys are or what my travel plans are for next week is beyond me) anyway, Sam has this bar where "everyone knows your name" and there are some regulars like Cliff, the know it all. Dr. Crane the guy who doesn't belong. Woody the bartender and this guy named Norm. Now Norm had his own special place, it was where he normally sat. When Norm came in it was normal for everyone to call out Norm! I remember one episode or maybe I dreamed of one episode where Norm came in and no one called his name and there was someone sitting in his stool. So Norm sat as close to normal as he could, right next to his old barstool like he was waiting for the guy to leave. But the man didn't leave. Norm sat there for like three minutes and finally got up and said, "this is not normal" and headed for the door. Everything was out of sorts for him. He came back later and his stool was open and they all cried "Norm!" and everything was back to normal.
So why did I type all of that? Well normal sometimes can become a prison that keeps us from enjoying things in life outside of our "normal". So try doing something different, you just might like it.

Is it just me?

Or was the Pro Bowl last night uninspired? I used to love to watch the Pro Bowl, there were so many tangibles you could grab onto. First there was the coaches, those guys usually decked out with team paraphernalia sans sleeves or not, with scowls on their faces during the regular season always seemed like real people during the Pro Bowl when it was in Hawaii. First they were all sporting a tan, these guys who are used to 14 hour days under the fluorescents or in the darkened film room actually seemed to glow at the Pro Bowl in Hawaii. And those Hawaiian shirts, didn't you just love that look? And add a lei to it and you have Ground and Pound turned into Surf and Turf. You have Cover Two turn into Hang Ten. You have these guys strung tighter than a banjo string, all of the sudden flashing a "hang loose brah" sign from the sidelines.

And the players, they actually seemed to enjoy themselves. I know no one is going to light someone up on a screen pass, that receivers actually feel safe going across the middle, unless Ray Lewis is in the game and then you kind of worry if he might think it would be funny to blow you up when you least expect it. But the players seemed to relax, to chill, to just soak it all in, to enjoy it.

Last night's game although in Miami had all the glitz and glamor of a Pro Bowl but it was lacking those intangibles that made it must see TV. It rained, for the entire game. It never rains in Hawaii, not at game time. It was cold, well by Miami standards it was cold, lower 60's which I am sure the players enjoyed but this game is for the fans right? Who wants to sit through a rainy cold game when their is nothing on the line? In Hawaii it was 80 and sunny! Where else do you want to be if you are a Minnesota Viking, or a New York Giant or Jet when it is close to ZERO degrees at home? You betcha, Hawaii and its 80 degrees. You could almost see it on the players faces last night, there was no waving at the kids in the stands, there was no looking up the wife to make sure she has the car ready to head to the beach after the game, there was no offensive lineman sitting on the bench with his neck stretched out to the breaking point trying to grab a little sun last night.

And not to mention scheduling to play the game before the Super Bowl therefore robbing the fans of seeing Drew "Cool" Breeze chanting up the guys before the game. Or seeing Payton "RoboQB" Manning call somewhere in the neighborhood of five audibles before he hits the line of scrimmage and has the defense looking at each other like he is speaking a foreign language. It robs the fans of seeing Dwight Freeney fly around the edge. Of Reggie Wayne racing under one of those Payton bombs, or of Darren Sharper tracking that ball down to return the interception for a TD. Not to mention the numerous players who were picked for this game and ended up declining an invitation. Come on, no one declines a trip to Hawaii, are you kidding me? Who goes home to his wife and kids and says, "honey, I made the pro bowl, but I am thinking of not going." You would be hit faster than a New York Jet's blitz by your wife and kids telling you that not only are you going, but they are going with you. Skipping out on Miami? Well that is really possible and apparently a lot of players and families decided to do it.

Yes, I do believe the Pro Bowl has lost something. It has lost the purpose it was created for. To be an entertainment extravaganza for the fans and a treat for the players.

So NFL, hang ten, hang loose and get the game back where it needs to be, for all our sakes.

Uhm, Houston we have a problem...

I loved that line! (If you don't know it don't sweat it you will be OK) So last night I felt like that was what was happening at home. For those of you that know me, with pastoring a church, working full time, trying to be a loving husband (I did say trying!) and a father of four kids my schedule is plenty full. With work travel, church work, visitations, dinner with my wife and ALL OF THE KIDS activities I am running most times. So last night I get home and we have absolutely nothing to do. I mean cook dinner, eat and nothing, nada, zilch, zippo, at all to do. We did not even have a new movie that we wanted to watch so there I sat dumbfounded on what to do.

So I examined my surroundings and remembered I had a book that I was reading, so after a search I found it (how it got on top of the fridge I have no idea, gremlins I am thinking) and finished it off in about a half hour. So I look around, it is 7:30 and I have a pair of kids playing the WI, WEE, Wiee, or however you spell it, another is strumming a guitar till he gets told he did not do his chores so he got bathroom duty so off he disappears to the bathroom. Another is sitting at the table making buttons. I mean like "VOTE FOR ME!" political buttons but they were for the basketball games coming next week. My wife is sitting next to me reading her Kindle. Not sure I like the Kindle, I never know what she is reading!! And here I set with nothing to do. So I remember that I have some sheetrock to finish in the ongoing project that is the master bath, so I go and hang that, and realized that I killed ten minutes. It is too early to go to bed, I am not 70 yet, the weather outside is looking kind of bad but I really have no where to go. So what am I going to do tonight? I was having that kind of evening.

Me: "Houston, Uhhhmmm we have a problem here, over."

Mission Control (MC): "go ahead, we read you, over."

Me: "Yeah, control; well I am sitting here with nothing to do, over."

MC: "what do you mean, nothing to do, explain, over."

Me: "I mean I am sitting here twiddling my thumbs, passing the time, doing absolutely nothing, over"

MC: "Gotcha, we understand, lets see, have you made dinner? Over."

Me: "affirmative, dinner is digesting, over."

MC: "How about that piece of sheetrock, over."

Me: "confirming installation of piece Houston, over."

MC: "have you thought of reading a book, over."

Me: "yep, finished it up Houston, over. Come on guys there has to be something that needs to be done, over."

MC: "We'll get back to you, over. I have my best guys on it, over."

In my minds eye I can see Mission Control saying, "we have a man out there that needs something to do, figure it out!!"

Well after about three hours of doing nothing, I finally got sat down and did some writing on my book. Pretty soon the bed started calling and I called it a night. I am really hoping something comes up tonight, I don't know what I am going to do with myself...

So I am a writer now...sort of

I have a friend that has a local website that updates local news and such for our small community. So one day I was with my basketball playing daughter and was keeping score for her when I had a thought of relaying the information on the game to my friend so he could give a report just after the event happened. So I wrote up a few paragraphs briefly outlining the game, high scorer and such and e-mailed it to him. A couple of minutes later my "crack"berry beeped that I had mail. So there is my friend asking where I got that information from. I sent back to him "from the game?". He then sends me another message that says, "yes but from which publication?". So I replied "from my Blackberry". Needless to say we were both not very bright when it came to reading between the lines or my friend did not think I have the skills to actually formulate an article in 300 words or less. After I did that one he asked if I could do the boys game later in the evening and I agreed and it was then and there I became a member of the media.

It all happened so fast, I did not have time to pick up a press pass and even less time to get a fedora to stick it in its braided hat band, I actually had to pay to get into the game. I did not have a tweed blazer or a pen and a notepad so I am not even sure I could call myself a reporter, but I just did what I could with my "crack"berry and the plain old clothes I had on, sans hat even.

I thought this was pretty cool, sending in reports of the game and then seeing them on the website with my name as a contributor to the article. But with each article came the pressure of trying to make it better than the last. I ran out of snazzy catch phrases. I ran out of adjectives to describe a play. And to my horror I had to start repeating the same old words I had used before. So I started working harder to enhance my writing to be able to entertain and inform my many readers (4 I think currently) and hopefully attract the eye of some writers agent who will whisk me away to write for some large conglomerate of magazines who will put my words in front of millions of people.

Then as I was finishing up my report to send in on a game this week, my daughter made a comment that ruined all my dreams and aspirations. She said, "the girls and I were reading your article and laughing at your descriptions..." She said more than that but I pretty much tuned her out once I heard the "laughing" part. They were laughing with me, or at me? I was not sure, I suddenly became self conscious of my writing. Was "slicker than an eel slathered in motor oil" a good description of a neat play or was it an object of laughter to my readers. So I thought of rewriting my article, to get serious and focused... then I thought to myself, who am I fooling. I am a hack who happens to have a "crack"berry and strong thumbs, who has a friend that is willing to post my articles and if my daughter laughs at my writing, well then she is not laughing necessarily at me like she normally does.

So next time you read about a shot that "brought rain from the heavens", a foul that "shook the very foundation of the underworld", a win that brought "glorious eruptions of ecstatic joy:" just enjoy the images that it creates in your head, and try not to laugh...to hard.

Leprosy?

I read another blog and the writer mentioned leprosy and it got me to thinking. What are the main infirmities mentioned in the Bible? Of course the first we think of are the blind, deaf, and the lame. When we did a little deeper we remember those that were mute and the woman with the issue of blood but we rarely think about the leprous. I think in our culture that disease does not resonate with us like the others do. We probably all could think of sometime in our life when we interacted with the blind, deaf, mute, lame and even people with issues of blood, think Leukemia. I can go back through my life and I have been with all of these people, other than the leper. I have never met a leper, never interacted with a leper and therefore don't know a lot about leprosy. Leprosy is a disease where micro bacteria create lesions on skin and the body responds by creating macules of hard unfeeling like growths to confine the ailment. Untreated the microbes continue to spread and at the same time the body creates more macules to contain them. By popular belief, limbs and fingers do not fall off of lepers, but they can not feel because of the macules and in time break fingers, toes and bones because they do not feel the pain. In extreme cases the extremity is amputated to prevent further injury.

So why the dissertation on Leprosy? It is mentioned a lot in the Word of GOD, and we give it a passing glance. But reading between the lines it is something that infects millions of people every year. The Bible talks of people "hardening" their hearts. Yep, creating macules around their sin, hard encrusted and unfeeling areas. The problem with this is there is never a healing that takes place. The macules just cover the problem, and eventually we grow this thick hide over it that even the greatest conviction can not penetrate it and so we never deal with it.

So let me ask you a question today, have you hardened your heart? Do you have leprosy of the heart? Are you still convicted over sin in your life or have you gone to that unfeeling, numb state where you are unmoved over sin? Jesus can heal you of the leprosy of heart, you just have to ask him to...

Are you Childlike?

JESUS says in the gospels, "unless you become like a little child..." I have always been intrigued with that statement. It goes so against the normal for us. We are always trying to get each other to grow up! We want our kids to take more responsibility, to be older, to do things like adults. If you have a childlike adult you will spend more time criticizing them than praising them for following scripture, think about that!

As I pondered that quote about being like a child I started thinking about my own kids and the kids I see that are so wondered about the little things in life. I have a picture of one of my daughters who was leaning over some rocks on the edge of a lake looking intently into the water. There were minnows swimming right around the rock she was perched on and she was fascinated by them. I beet she stared at them for a full five minutes before I told her to come on we were moving on somewhere else. I remember my oldest son one time just laying on his back in the middle of the yard staring at the sky. "What are you doing?" I asked him. "Nothing" was the reply that I got. Doing nothing seems like a waste of time to me, doesn't he have something better to do than to stare at the clouds? I saw a baby yesterday sitting in a baby swing with a mobile above its head. That baby just laid there and watched the animals come and hover over here head and then move on as another took its place hovering over her. She studied each one intently, her eyes moving from color to color and place to place before the next one came into view.

I think that is what JESUS was talking about when he said to become as a little child. That we notice the little things and are filled with awe and wonder at the creation that was made for us. Like the minnows in the lake, the cloud forms in the sky or the stripes on a tiger, take a few minutes today to really do... nothing and be as a little child for a moment.

Hello? Anybody out there?

Sometimes it can feel like no one is listening. I know, I have four kids. And my wife surely knows as she has lived with me over half her life and I know she thinks I am deaf sometimes. I think we all go through it every so often. We feel like we could jump up on our desk in our cubicle and scream at the top of our lungs and no one would even bother to look up. Sometimes those around us are so caught up in what they are doing that they don't comprehend what is going on around them. Sometimes they just really don't care what is going on around them and sometimes they are on the verge of rigomortis unable to respond to anything.

Many times we feel the same thing about GOD, when that is not the case at all. GOD is not bound by the physical nature that we are. GOD is never so caught up in what he is doing that he doesn't notice you. GOD really does care what is happening in your life. GOD is not on the verge of death and unable to respond to you. What I have come to find is that although we are screaming for HIS attention, we may just not be tuned into his response.

I remember one time after preaching a pretty bad sermon, shaking hands with the people who were leaving and feeling like a failure to myself, my family and GOD. I had disconnected, checked out and was having a pity party where I was the only one invited. About that time I remember thinking, "GOD, why did you leave me? Why do you not care how I am feeling?" when all of the sudden I felt this little hand grab mine. I looked down and my daughter was staring up at me holding my hand. She did not say a word, she did not have to, GOD spoke to my heart at that very moment, "just as she is right beside you holding your hand, I have been there all the time."

Sometimes we just need to tune in on the right frequency to hear what HE is saying.

Leading Scorer and Homecoming Queen?

Wow what a week just went by. I am just so proud of my kids. My oldest Sierra is a tom boy and loves to play sports. My number two Camry is a girls girl, is a cheerleader and a double threat model and actress. My number three Logan is an up and coming young man with so much talent in his gangly still growing body (he is 5'5 and wears a size 11 shoe) there is no telling what he will grow up to be, with those dimples, blue eyes and blond hair I may have lots of girls coming by the house in a few years. And my youngest Spencer, well he is so full of imagination, and is such a thinker he will probably become a doctor, lawyer or a professional bulldogger.

So last week our oldest daughter was selected to be part of the homecoming court (Sr. Candidate) for our basketball festivities. Sierra has never been a part of any court other than a basketball court before so she was a little nervous wearing a dress and all. I did not think dress was part of her vocabulary unless it was used in a "you need to get' sentence. So Mom sent Dad to get a formal dress with his sweats wearing pony tail sporting athletic daughter. Luckily she sent the Cheerleader with us who has watched enough episodes of "say yes to the dress" to keep me from looking like a total loser. So we shopped one Saturday morning for a formal to wear to homecoming. Questions like, "what kind of dress, tea length or full length?" were batted around like softballs at a co-ed tournament. "Chifon or off the shoulder, or strapless?" adjectives were passed around like a pigskin at a picnic. Finally she came out of the dressing room in a blue full length dress that her sister and I both agreed was the one. As she wrapped it up I thought she would look good in it as they coronate one of the other girls with tiara. Well the moment of truth came, she looked fabulous in her dress, with her hair fixed and makeup on, most people did not think she was the same gal. She did not wear heels as she did not want to be the same height as her tall escort but yet she towered over the other attendants. Eventually the call came from the loudspeaker, "your 2010 Homecoming Queen is" drum roll please. My daughter.

She received a peck on the cheek from her escort as she had told him, "you kiss me I will punch your face in", which eliminated any opportunities for him to get a free one. As she smiled to the cheering crowd he placed her crown upon her head and they headed to their seats of honor to preside over the first of the homecoming games. At halftime with her royal duties coming to an end she raced to the locker room and emerged, makeup removed, hair in a pony tail with shorts and jersey ready to play on the hardwoods. Daddy's girl was back.

Life is a lot like basketball...

Now stay with me. Life is like basketball.

1) sometimes you win, sometimes you loose. Sometimes everything goes right and you win, sometimes everything goes right and you loose anyway. Sometimes everything goes wrong and somehow you win, and sometimes everything goes really wrong and you really loose.

2) there is a time limit, in basketball it is till number of points made or a clock is winding down. In life there is a clock but only GOD can see how much time is left and when the buzzer sounds there is not a thing we can do to extend time.

3) You get fouled and you foul other people.

It happens, all the time. If it hasn't happened to you yet, just wait it will. The real challenge is to not let that foul affect the rest of your game/life in a negative manner. Keeping your composure in basketball is important just as it is in life.

4) Timeouts are a good thing.

Coaches call timeouts to regroup, to rest, to strategize and sometimes to just change the pace of the game. In life we sometimes need to call a timeout to prioritize those things important to us, to create a change of pace and sometimes just rest in the hands of the one who created us.

5) Free throws are not always free.

I still don't know why they call them "free" throws. First of all something had to happen to get you there, a whack on the wrist, getting run over, a slap on the head, something happened to get you to the line, no one came up and said here, take a free shot. And even the best of free throw shooters do not make 100% so there is a chance that you are going to miss, so it is not guaranteed. Life sometimes says you have a "free" throw. That it will be easy, that you are guaranteed, but in reality those freebies do cost sometimes in the end. And taking the easy way out usually does not result in the best of circumstances. And even guarantees are not at all guaranteed anymore.

So next time life gets you down, think of a little basketball and decide if it is time to call a time out, or get to the free throw line, or buckle down on defense. But always do your best and try to win.

Leadership...

One of the hardest things about leadership is you have to go where you want your followers to follow. A leader does not just map out a course and send you on your way, that is a navigator. A leader is one that maps out a course and goes ahead of you on the journey. Sometimes it is great as the leader, you get to see lots of great stuff before anyone else does. But sometimes it stinks because you have to go through the bad stuff before anyone else does. But in the end, you can look at your followers and tell them, "yep been there done that, and made it through..."

GOD knows...

He truly does. Had a great service last night with one of our Youth Pastors preaching from his heart. Sometimes it is hard to put together a message to convey what you feel GOD is trying to tell his people. But when GOD is trying to tell them what he just got through telling you it is so liberating and free. Our Youth Pastors have gone through a time lately, kids, illness, car problems, house problems, you name it they have had it happen to them. But last night he encouraged us to keep our eyes on the Lord, to trust him in everything and don't let the things in this world drag us down. I saw many wiping tears as they had been going through the same things. It is such a rush of pride, excitement and thanksgiving when GOD uses someone you have invested in to do such a wonderful thing for GOD.

GOD knows what we are going through, and he prepares us for the times when we can minister to others. It was such a blessing to see it happen right in front of our eyes. Thank you GOD for allowing those situations to happen all the time in our lives.

Comfortable?

I love to be comfortable. I love overstuffed chairs, couches you don't set on but become a part of, and firm pillows. I love warm slippers, hot coffee and a good book for a comfortable afternoon. I like a nice car with air conditioning on those hot August days and central heat for the cold winter nights. I like good food, nice views and fun times. I really like to be comfortable but recently I have wondered about being uncomfortable.

I think sometimes we get too comfortable that we get complacent. Being comfortable is not the problem; complacency is. Complacency takes comfortable to the wrong extremes, it makes us inactive to things around us because we do not want to give up our comfortable surroundings for even a minute. It robs us of the excitement of trying something new, it robs us of the fulfillment that comes with accomplishing something.

I remember a guy I worked with for a while when I was younger. He was a complacent guy to the point that he never did anything outside of his home. His car was the one thing that really bothered me, this guy had a drinking problem. No not an alcoholic drinking problem but he could not go one minute without a soda can in his hand. He worked nights so he could actually work with a can of pop right next to his station as he moved along. Well it became a real issue in his car as he would finish one can and then throw them over his shoulder into the backseat. I think it became a game to him, pull one down, slug it down and throw it over the shoulder into the backseat except for the fact that the day I looked at his car the entire rear seating area was full of pop cans. I was dumbfounded and did not know what to say. I asked about it and he told me he was going to turn them in for scrap, which made sense except they never got turned in. And eventually the passenger side started to fill up with cans and he decided he needed a new car as his old one was starting to smell and the cans were a problem. I remember looking at him and thinking, he needs help. But he went out and bought a new car, parked the old one and proceeded to fill up the new car with cans. I asked him one day why he did it and he told me he just did not want to have to clean that car out, it was too much work. I explained if he would take his cans out each day they would not pile up and be so much work, but he looked at the cans already in the back and said, there are too many now it will be too much work to get rid of them.

There in lies the root of many of our problems, we are complacent with the way life is around us, and don't want to make the changes that need to be made in our lives. We need to get out of the complacent mind set and see what there is for us outside of our normal comfortable. Once we beat the complacent bug we will find new comfortable things that will rock our world, but it is going to take getting out of our current comfortable to get to the new comfortable.

Building...

I love to build guitars, the one in my profile is a replica of a 1957 Fender Telecaster that I copied. I have learned a lot about life from building guitars, I am at number 5 right now.

1) Poor materials builds a poor guitar.

As you know I am fruggle so when I can save a dollar here or there I do it. But what I found with my guitars is there is a price to pay for being cheap. Not just any slab of wood will do. Not just any electrical components will do. You need to buy good parts to make a good guitar. The same goes with our lives, if you live a cheap life and don't invest in yourself, you will be like that cheap guitar, you can make noise but it isn't really pretty, it is always out of tune and becomes a pain to play. don't be like that in your life, invest in yourself so you can make beautiful music with your life, stay in tune with things in life and enjoy the results.

2) You can try to cut corners but they come back to cut you.

I had this one body I just could not get to work. I had it all made up and then went to put the neck on it and the neck end was cut different than the body groove. Now that connection is a major part of having a good guitar, and this was not a good situation. So the way to fix it was to either make a whole new body, or glue in a new piece and route a new neck pocket, or buy a new neck. All of those options were either very time consuming or expensive. So I took the shortcut, I decided I could BONDO in the gaps on the neck and everything would be fine. Well if did not work, the neck wobbles something fierce, if you hit it right it falls out of tune and it is setting in my back room and hasn't been played for the last six months. It is useless in its present state. Many people do the same thing in trying to cut corners with their lives. They think one little change here or there will not affect them but it does. One little indiscretion won't affect them but it does and it has drastic effects on their lives. So next time you are tempted to cut a corner, step back, suck it up and do it right, you will appreciate it later.

3) Patience

I hate finishing guitars. You know, putting the paint on it. You see I always assemble my guitars before I finish them. It makes sure everything is working before you spend a lot of time finishing them and it also helps to eliminate some tense times of putting screws into a finished product for the first time. So I get the guitar together sans paint or finish, and I string it up and play it a bit to make sure it works well. After that it is time to take it apart and finish it up. Now here is where the trick comes in. You just had a chance to play that new guitar as a test, and you really are excited to get it done so you can play it all the time. But finishing takes time, and patience. You put the paint on too thick and it runs and you have to sand it off to get it back to smooth. You put it on too light and you don't get even coverage, you apply it too often and you can get bubbles that burst when it cures out leaving you a nice divot on the face. In the finishing process you have to apply patience, you can't touch it till it is dried and cured or you will ruin it. Out lives are that way too, we need to have patience. GOD is working on all of us and sometimes he gives us the foretaste of something to come and we are so excited and anxious that we push and pull and get ahead of GOD and then we mess it up.

So next time life throws you a curve, step back and make sure you have good materials to work with, don't cut corners to get there faster and have some patience, it will all work out.

Blogging

I love to write. Well I actually love to think about writing although it always seems there is always something better to do. It seems to go that way in my life at least. I have great intentions but something else always seems to attract my attention and therefore wrecks my good intentions. We are sometimes that way with our dreams and goals. We have great intentions but get sidetracked by things that get in the way. Here are a few ways to get to where you want to go and not get derailed.

1) put it in writing... yeah I know the writing thing again. But just don't write it down, put it somewhere it will motivate you to do your good intentions. My Dad for a time in his late forties developed a "beer gut". He gained a lot of weight around his middle from drinking beer. Duh! So anyway I was in his room one day and there was a picture of him with his gut hanging out and a beer in his hand at one of his company picnics. On the picture was a post it note that said, "never again" in his hand writing. What shocked me was I remembered my Dad having that gut but over the years prior he had lost it and gotten back to his somewhat skinny self. I always wondered why he never threw that bad picture away, now I know, it was motivation for him not to go back there.

2) Set realistic goals... I am the worlds worst at setting goals. I set them too far out and I set them too high. Be honest with yourself, you are not going to get back into those jeans you wore in high school. Number one bell bottoms are out, number two your hips don't want to be hugged anymore and number three you probably won't ever get back to that size again. But it is OK to set a goal to get down two pant sizes or dress sizes in a years time. It is achievable and will build your confidence to do even more next year.

3) Work at it... anything worth doing is going to take work. If it was easy everyone would be doing it!! Some people think things will just happen as by osmosis, but in reality anything that happens happens because something put it into motion. So put your good intentions into motion and get out and do it!

4) Have fun... if it is enjoyable, you will go for it. We all work too much already to not enjoy the non work stuff. So have some fun, it won't kill you!

Good investments...

I am a cheapskate at heart. I hate to spend money on certain things. Now I don't mind buying motorcycle parts, electronic gizmos and such but for standard things I hate to spend money. I will never forget my wife telling me about a basketball camp in Joplin that our oldest daughter needed to attend. "She will learn all sorts of fundamentals, improve her game, and get some good conditioning" was the selling pitch my wife threw at me. Then she told me how much it would cost. And not only the cost of paying for the gym time but the travel back and forth twice a weekend an hour away. At first I was against it, "she can run in our hometown gym for free and I can coach her" was my thought process. Of course I knew that I would rather lay around on the couch watching football with her than sweating in an old gym and if truth be known she would rather watch football with me too. Not to mention that my coaching skills are carved right out of the Woody Hayes, my way or the highway coaching manual. But because I wanted to see her be the best she could be I decided to pay the money. So over the last two summers, and a couple of in between sessions we have written checks for extra basketball lessons.

Well last week my daughter signed a letter of intent to play basketball at Southwestern Assemblies of GOD University in Waxahachie, TX. She has always wanted to go to school there, even though it is six hours away and cost around $20K a year to attend we told her if it is GOD'S will HE will make a way. Well HE has made a way, although her basketball scholarship won't cover her total cost it goes a long way to getting her bills paid and I am sure her academics (I didn't mention that she is a brain did I?) will get her some scholarship money as well.

Well I was thinking the other day, we spent hundreds of dollars financing her basketball camps, all in all our return on investment was over 1,000 percent. Wish I could do that in the stock market!!

Brrrrrrr....

I was driving with my wife the other day and I made this comment. "It sure is cold out", to which she replied, "It is December!".

That little statement made me realize how sometimes even the most realistic thing that is right in front of us can baffle us. December is supposed to be a cold month, but we have had so much warm weather lately that I think we all forgot it is winter. I know I had. I was running around on Thanksgiving day in a T shirt, was messing around before that and occasionally only needed a light jacket. But this week, a Canadian air mass moved in and Wham! it was cold! My blood is not thick yet, my winter clothes still put up and I am not in the least prepared.

But life went on without me, the seasons changed without my consent and it got cold not because I forgot about it, but because December is supposed to be cold.

In our lives, let us not get so unfocused that we forget where we are, what we are doing and what the weather outside might be. For in that position we are not any good to anyone, to GOD and we will definitely catch cold!

#1 Thankful Thing

Number One Thankful thing... Well I have thought long and hard on this. I have tried to come up with something clever, something funny but nothing seems to do it justice. So I have decided to be real, transparent, and honest. The number one thing I am thankful for is my relationship with Christ. I did not grow up in the church, actually I probably grew up so far away from church it is not funny. My father was an alcoholic, workaholic, social anxiacal person, my mother, well she searched for meaning through all sorts of different circles in her life but never really found what she was looking for. I grew up thinking Church was for sissies, needy people who never took their lives seriously. Most church people that I ran into did not live their lives how I thought they should so I figured it was all just a coping mechanism for those needy people. But one day, at the urging of my girlfriend I decided to give Christ a try. It did not work. I was so frustrated, upset and mad until I realized that you can not just try Christ, you have to give your life to him. Non negotiable, binding, and totally dependant on you to surrender all to him. He does not want us to surrender some but to surrender all to him. So when I finally decided to give him all of me, there was a newness that came on my life. I came to realize my place in this world and my place in his creation. I came to realize that he cares for me more than anything else in the world, that he wants the best for me but also is willing to let me make my own choices in life, and sometimes to live with the consequences so I will appreciate him more. So the number one thing that I am most thankful for is my relationship with Jesus Christ, the risen son of Almighty GOD, the creator of the universe and the author and finisher of my faith...
Be Blessed,
Pat

#2 Thankful Thing

Number TWO!! We are almost there. What am I thankful for? Well speaking of number two, I am thankful for toilets. Have you ever thought what a marvelous engineering marvel the common toilet is? Able to accomodate both the male and female species equally, it is a wonder. A self contained water storage unit on the back that fills itself automatically. A porcelain bowl that requires little assistance to stay clean, throw in one of those little tablet thingy and you are good. A self trapping water space at the bottom that keeps the nasty odors out and a flusher that runs the water down into the bowl to get rid of the bad stuff, clockwise in N. America and counter clockwise in South America. I have never used a toilet in S. America so I can not confirm this. The toilet, without it our homes would be a very messy place.

#3 Thankful Thing

Number Three thankful thing for Thanksgiving is; Al Gore? Yep, not because he is an environmental watchdog now, but because he invented the internet!! I don't know what I would do without the internet! I would have to get my information for sermons through large reference books, I would have nothing but "clip art" to show in my slide shows, and I would know absolutely nothing as to what is going on in the world without the internet. Without Spacebook and MyFace, how would I keep up with everyone other than seeing them at Wal Mart? How would I play Football Fantasy with people I don't know? How will I get my mail without the internet, go to the Post Office? Yep, Al Gore, that guys is pretty smart guy to invent the internet, funny I thought it was some other computer guy.

#4 - Countdown to Thanksgiving

#4 Thankful thing.
I am thankful for indoor plumbing. Yep for an INSIDE bathroom. I remember the house we had in Missouri, it did not have a bathroom. We had a sink in the kitchen but that was it. The outhouse was about 50 yards behind the house and we had to take baths in a 5 gallon metal washtub that had a Pabst Blue Ribbon sticker on the side. This was not in the 1930's, or the 40's or the 50's, or the 60's but in the 1970's. Yeah we bought the house that time forgot. Nothing like having to get up in the middle of the night to make the long flashlight illuminated walk to the outhouse because nature called. And while you are there nature starts calling out all around you. Like the time a snake decided he had to go while I was in there and he decided not to wait and wiggled in through the crack in the door. Or the time when one of the cows decided to try to push the outhouse over while I was inside of it.
When we got our own bathroom in that house, that had a sink, a commode and a shower bathtub unit, we all did a little jig of celebration, none more thankful than me and the snake who now had his very own bathroom.

#5 Thankful thing

Number 5: I am thankful for the microwave oven. I mean imagine what life would be without a "nuclear baking machine"? Forget what it is doing to our bodies as we stand in front of it as it pours out its nuclear radiation to heat or reheat the hazardous waste we call food. Forget about the horror stories of things being blown up inside of them and the steam burns. I love the microwave! I can boil water in 90 seconds, I can heat up leftover Thanksgiving turkey in a minute, I can even get one of those special pizzas with the metal sleeve and have Pepparoni for lunch in three minutes. Too tired to cook? Throw one of those frozen burritos in the oven, nuke it for 60 seconds and Viola! you are ready to eat. Just be careful not to burn the roof of your mouth!

Thankful #6

#6 thing I am thankful for.
Paperclips... yep not just because they help unruly paper stay in order. But all the things that you can do with them. I have used paperclips to fix a toilet, to reset a computer, to act as a make shify hinge pin, as an ear wax remover (you know you do it too...), as a desktop sculture, as a Christmas tree ornament hanger, as a picture frame hanger, and as a metal catapault to send paperwads across an office. I mean they are usefull for about anything. Who knew a twisted piece of metal could be so usefull?

Things I am thankful for #7

#7 Thankful thing...
Q tips. Yeah that's right, I am thankful for Q tips. I do not know who came up with the idea of putting a piece of cotton on the end of a stick. Might have been a kids who was almost finished with his sucker working in the cotton fields one day. It fell out of his mouth into the freshly harvested cotton, the sticky nub of a sucker stuck to a ball of cotton and there you have it, the Q tip. I mean without Q tips not only would we have waxy ear buildup but think of all the model airplanes that would have horrible deformities, the minor wounds that would go untreated, and the endless amounts of antibiotic that would have to be applied with a dirty, bacteria encrusted finger. Q tips rule!!

Things I am thankful for #8

Number Eight: Things I am thanful for.
Clothes Dryer is my number 8 thing I am thankful for. Now some of you are thinking it is because it dry clothes and we don't have to hang them on a line. It is not, how many men have you ever seen hanging clothes on a line? None, those that would have to hang clothes on the line, well they buy their wife a dryer. No I am thankful for the dryer because you really don't have to wash clothes sometimes when you don't have time. Have an old softball jersey you forgot to wash before the game? A dryer sheet and a dryer and about ten minutes of tumbling and you are all set. Have a pair of pants that got all wrinkled up in your closet, throw them in the dryer, Violla! All better. Gave your long haired dog a bath and hate that wet dog smell, well, I don't recommend it but it has been done albeit your dog will hate you for the rest of your life. They dryer fixes everything!

Things I am Thankful for #9

#9 - Toenail clippers.
Have you ever thought what the world would look like without nail clippers? Remember that lady in the Guiness Book of World Records with 9 foot long fingernails? Yuck!! And if your toe nails were that long, shoes would be out of the question! I think long toe nails are the nastiest things under the sun, my grandfather used to have those long old man toe nails. You know the ones you need to take a hacksaw too, maybe even a grinder to finish them off. Thankfully he always wore socks with his sandals!!

10 day till Thanksgiving

Ten things I am thankful for.
I am thankful for a lot of things in my life, but I am going to get sappy and mention some on here. First off I will not list my wife or my kids or my church or my job which I am so thankful for all of them, but they are a no brainer, without all of them I am a most miserable person. So I am going to be funny, smart and hopefully ellicit a few laughs for what I am most thankful for.
Number Ten Thing I am Most Thankful for....

10) Deodorant -
Have you really thought what you and the world around you would smell like without D-O for the B-O? I mean just thinking about it makes me wanna hurl.
Funny story I told on myself. So I am at a trade show working, and we are setting up our booth which entails a lot of sweating and putting up pieces to show to potential customers. So I keep getting a wiff of BO and I am thinking my partner there is in need of a shower. So later on I have this sign held up over my head and I look to the left and almost passed out as I smelled my BO. I was so embarrased! I mean you know when you have a true friend when they tell you, "dude, you need to take a shower". Apparently I forgot to apply the D-O in the A-M before I went to the E-H (exhibit hall) for our D-T (display time). Yes I am an idiot!

Proud Papa...

Yep that is me.
My oldest daughter is graduating high school in the spring. She is a brain, has a 4.0, made a 29 on her ACT and is shooting for a 30 in December. She has great character, is a leader and will succeed in whatever she decides to do in life.
So approaching her graduation this spring from HS, She had to start thinking about continuing her education and what she wanted to do in life. Well she has always wanted to attend Southwestern AG Unniversity. I think it is from all the free T shirts she got at Preachers Kid Camp but she decided a couple of years ago that is what she wanted to do and she has not budged off of it. SAGU is a private institution, and private institutions cost a lot of $$$, somewhere around $20,000.00 a YEAR! Lets just say that is a significant chunck of my salary in a years time. To put into perspective that is more than we pay on our house payment, both car payments and my motorcycle payment plus the insurance it takes to insure them. Yeah, I just broke out into a cold sweat also...
So we tell her, you need to make good grades to get good scholarships because we can't do much to help pay for college. Then we started talking about maybe an athletic scholarship. Is it possible? Well she is a good athlete, but is she good enough to play college ball? She had the height, thanks to her dad she is almost six feet tall, but did she have the skills to play at the next level. Well she arranged a tryout at SAGU last week to practice with the team to see if she could compete. I told her, you are still just a HS Senior, seventeen and you are going to be playing against girls 3 to 5 years older than you, you don't have to dominate, just compete.
Well she goes out to warm up and the coach comes in, gives her the once over and shags balls while she was shooting to warm up. She missed her first couple, then she found her rthym and started knocking down shots. She is pretty good from fifteen feet in, and she kept floating farther and farther outside to where she hit at one time seven in a row from just inside the three point arc. The coach was grinning as she hit on after the other, we found out why after we saw his other big players range is only about ten feet.
So the other girls come in and it was so fun to just watch them size each other up. C ends up not just practicing but scrimmaging agaist the starting five and she held her own. She has some things to work on and she still has another year of maturation but from what she showed the coaching staff they agreed that they wanted her for next years team and offered her a "starters" scholarship which roughly is half the cost of school. Mom and I get a ten percent discount for being ordained so that leaves roughly forty percent to be covered by academics which I am hoping will happen.
So C if you are reading this, I am so proud of you and the hard work you have put in. No one can ever say you were given anything, everything you accomplish was earned with hard work and sweat. Keep working hard, be a leader and GOD will give you the desires of your heart, just like he did with your college.

Thoughts I think I think 2... airline travel

1) Airlines are always fighting to leave on time and many times it is the passengers that are delaying flights taking too long to get on. Heres a thought, use some common sense, quit charging for checked bags, cheapskates like me might check one every so often.
2) Have three lines going at security, first line for experienced travelers, not those that flew ten years ago, those that fly all the time, we get through the line in a hurry. A second line for the casual traveler, those that fly for vacation, going to see grandma and such. They get to the airport four hours before the flight anyway, they have time. And a third line for those that need help, like the old lady who has her entire bathroom shampoo, conditioner and rinse in the three gallon jugs and holds up the line when they tell her three onces or less. Or the little old man who doesn't take off his shoes, tries to get through the metal detector with his keys in his pocket and doesn't take off his jacket. Or the Mom with two little kids who all have their own carry on, filled with metal toys and stuff.
3) How about not giving anything for flights of less than an hour? I mean I can make it from Dallas to Tulsa without a drink. I just hate getting a drink in my hand and the stewdress ask me for it back. Gulp, thanks!
4) How about if you cancell a flight, make some arrangements BEFORE the people on that flight show up. Sometimes I think they hope that all 120 people affected just forgot they were flying that day.
5) A little honesty? Tell the passangers what is really going on with the delays, instead of our next scheduled departure time is X when everyone knows that will not happen.
6) How about making the seats with a little leg room? When the person in front of you has their head in your lap it is a little awkward. Does the three extra people on the plan really make that much of a difference?
7) Can we get a camera of the cockpit since we can't see in there? In light of the NorthWest plane situation, I would like to know what my pilot is doing up there. I know my kids would be a little worried if Mom and I installed a panel behind the front seats in our mini van to seperate us from the kids in the back. Who knows what they are doing, playing bingo?
8) How about we do boarding from the back of the plane to the front of the plane. Line up and go set down. Now they board the front first class so we can walk past them sipping their designer water, then the frequent flyers who sit all over the plane and the they start boarding back to front but people don't know where they sit, where their luggage goes and it takes forever to board.
9) How about some inflight entertainment, I mean, one magazine a month and the crosswords are already done?
10) How about a child section, you know at church we have these sound proof rooms for babies that are crying? Just a thought...

Thoughts I think I think...

Yeah I got the title out of a Sports Illustrated but I like it so I am borrowing it.
Thought I think I think series will be on a number of subjects for the next few weeks. Today is
Church.
1) I think most people find church boring. I know I do and I am a Pastor. The Church was not about sitting on our posteriors and "soaking up" good teaching. The Church is supposed to "go" and the "gates of Hell will not prevail against it". So are we doing more going than staying. Going is not boring, staying is.
2) I think most people find church irrelevant. I hate this but it is true. I would rather go and listen to a grease covered guy tell me some finer points about what I can do to improve my auto than to listen to a guy tell me what I can read for myself in the word. Show me how to use it and it becomes relevant to me. Too many times we are not showing people how to do things, but telling them how to do things. Most people like to be hands on, and they learn when they are involved, not watching from the sidelines.
3) I think sometimes we make church a show. I live a couple of hours from Branson Missouri where there are all sorts of shows I can go see and be entertained. And many times some of the church services are set up more as a show than an experience. When we gather to experience GOD, HE becomes the center of attention. When we put on a "production" for service we remove HIM from the center and we become the show. Too much glitz, not enough GOD.
4) I think most church people don't really know what they believe. I find this sad, it is like running around telling people how good something is, when you really have never tried it. I do not endorse or criticize something I have not tried. And when I get involved, I get involved.
5) I think many Christians play the part. I love motorcycles but I am not a "biker" I am a rider. Now I have leather chaps, leather vest, leather jackets and all the stuff including a bike but I am not a biker. I never pretend to be a biker, never have said I was a biker but many people who see me assume I am a biker because I ride a bike and wear black leather. Put me in with a bunch of people in suits and I look like a big bad biker. Put me in with a bunch of big bad bikers and I am just a guy wearing similiar clothing.
6) I think people know if we are posers or not. People hate posers, a poser is a person who says they are something when they really are not. I will use my biker analogy. I ride a really big Honda motorcyle. It has a 1800CC displacement (my car motor is SMALLER than my bike motor), fuel injection, and all sorts of great technology. It puts somewhere around 90 horsepower to the rear wheel and has somewhere around 120 foot pounds of torque. And I get told all the time, well it is not better than a Harley. I always ask that person what they ride, and they tell me that they don't have a bike, but if they did it would be a Harley and I always walk away and thing, "poser". Christians are a lot like that.
7) I think many Christians are wimps. Yeah I said it, many Christians are wimps. When the going gets tough many will change churches. If they are asked to go beyond their comfort zone they check out. If they are challenged, they quit. But the Bible tells us to meek and mild, turn the other cheek. Once I had a kid get right up in my face and threaten me. My christian thought process was to back down be a peacemaker. But that kid kept getting up in my grill and then he threatened to hit me. The word says the Holy Spirit will speak for us when we don't know what to say. Well I said, "you had better knock me out with your first shot, I will give you that and turn the other cheek, but if you try to hit me again, all bets are off and I will bust you up". He turned two shades of red but never lifted a hand. True Christians are the toughest people you will ever meet.
8) I think Church needs to get over itself. I hate it when people start to talk about other people and their problems while we cast a blind eye at our own. I remember when a lady told another lady about this woman in the church that was sleeping around. She called her a "whore" (can I type that on here?) and said she was bound for Hell, well the lady she was talking to said, "well she might be a whore, but you are a gossip and bound for the same place". I love that, the truth shall set you free.
9) I think religion is rebellion. Religion allows you to do what you want, when you want and how you want. That is rebellion. We are to be in a relationship, in where there is a two party interaction in everything. Rebels want to be alone, Jesus says he will stick closer than a brother.
10) I think the Church needs a wake up call. The Church is a sleeping giant who sees the world around them through rose colored glasses. The church needs to wake up and realize that the world around them is not the same world it was ten, twenty or fifty years ago. Ring Ring, this is the front desk, it is a new day and this is your wake up call.

Why is it...

that about the time you think you're on your way, something jumps up and knocks you down?
It seems that way most times in life, everytime we start to see the finish line, somebody goes and moves it!!
I have just had a time like that. Here is how I get through it.
1) Focus on the positives and not the negatives.
When we focus on the negatives sometimes we make them out to be bigger than they really are. Focus on the positives in life, and even though you may have been tripped up, after you wash the mud out of your eyes the view is much better.
2) Get active.
Get out of the same old routine when something comes up and knocks you off your rocker. Do something different, first it will require you to focus your mind on the new thing you are doing, and second it will give you a burst of energy to get you through.
3) Have someone help you.
Go to friend and explain what happened. Sometimes just hearing that you are not alone, and that someone else made it through will give you the strength to finish. Two make light the heavy work of one.
Pat

Plans...

A friend of mine has this great saying, "fail to plan, plan to fail". I love it because it is so true. But sometimes even the best of plans goes off track. So here is how I deal with derails in my life.
1) Never paint yourself in a corner.
Now I am the King of Procrastination, really I have a PhD in it from Never Do Today What You Can Do Tomorrow Graduate School. But one thing I do is I don't put unrealistic deadlines on myself, and if something comes up that interferes with a deadline that I could not control, I change the one thing I do control, the deadline I put on myself. Now it takes discipline to do this, you can't just make up some kind of "circumstance" to push out your deadline, but lets face it, life happens. So be flexible with yourself and your plans.
2) Always look to the finish line, not the track.
I hated track when I was in school. It must have been in Jr. High when coach tapped me as someone to run the mile in the track meets. I should have been estatic, instead I could only think of that mile I had to run. But I got through it focusing on the finish line, not the process to get to the finish line. Sometimes that finish line looks so far off, but as you get closer you see the line grow larger in your vision, THAT is what will get you to the finish line.
3) When involved in an accident, look for insurance.
I know you are thinking what? Now he is talking about car crashes. No hear me out. When you have an auto accident, you exchange insurance information with the parties involved. What that does is let the insurance companies work togethre to take care of both of you. It is called CO-OPERATION. When your plans get derailed, look for some insurance from a friend, a Pastor, a parent, a grandparent, a neighbor and have them help you get back on track with your plan.
4) Sometimes a detour happens
I hate detours, it slows me down, makes me take new routes I am not familiar with and messes up my schedule. But on many detours I have seen the most amazing scenery, found the best restaurants and experienced things I never would have if I had stayed on the main road. Detours lets us experience things off the beaten track. So don't hate on detours, they happen, embrace them, learn from them, and you might even find out that you find a better way to get where you are going.
5) Plans fail.
There I said it, yep plans fail sometimes. It is OK, you will not be branded a failure for your entire life because you had one plan fail. I think sometimes we learn more from our failed plans than we do from our plans that succeed. Some of the most influential people in history failed and failed miserably. I like the old quote, "if you try nothing, you will be sucessful at nothing 100% of the time". So try and don't be afraid to fail occasionally, just don't make it a habit.
Pat

It is good to be appreciated...

We had Pastor Appreciation day this week. You know October is the month where you are supposed to appreciate your Pastor.
So our church was planning an appreciation time for us this last Sunday.
It was nerve wracking. You see they told us to not plan for anything. They would handle it all, and they did but it still wracked our nerves worrying about what might or might not get done.
They blessed us with great gifts, great words of encouragement and we cried and laughed and relished in it all.
You know sometimes you need to be appreciated a little... even if it is a little embarrasing.

Progress...

I have a bathroom I have worked on for about five years. Yeah, five years. Well actually we had this really big bathroom that I divided into a main bath and a master bath. The main bath was completed not long after the construction project started. The master bath went through some times of inactivity to say the least in the last few years. I would get started and then something would come up that would distract me from finishing the project. Now a bathroom is a pretty big project for a do it yourselfer, but I was capable of doing it, just not capable of completing it. So I was looking at it today, and a thought hit me. Progress is still progress even if it is just a little bit.
You see, the completion of the bathroom will not happen in five minutes. I wish it would but it is feasibly impossible. But a bunch of small steps leads toward completion and that amounts to progress.
So today I had a couple of hours free, so I thought I should go and work on the bathroom. But it is only a couple of hours, so I almost just wimped out and forgot it. So I dedicated the two hours and got some small stuff done. I did not set the world on fire, did not get it completed but I made progress, and that is the key.
Our lives are like that as well, many times we expect to see a completed project in a moment's time, only to find that it doesn't work like that. We need to work toward progress each and every day, and if we will do that we will find that we will eventually reach the goal that we have set for ourselves.
So a little step forward each day will lead you through to completion.

How are you doing????

Hi, how are you? Hi, doing good? Howdy, you doing OK? (In my best New Yorker accent) How are yooooouuu dooooing?
Now I want you to think. Are you thinking yet? How many times have you said that where you really did not care if they were doing well or not? I can hear your thoughts now, I have ESPN, "well I care everytime, I am not just saying that because that is what I am supposed to say". I will at least be honest, I have many times said that as rote and never really expected to get any more than, "fine, how are you?" from someone else. And of course I responded with my politically correct and polite, "great, thank you." And we go on our merry ways happy that we have brought a smile to the world. Are we really that insane?
For you see, I have come to realize that people who ask me how I am doing really are not that concerned with how I am doing. So I have decided to put it to a test, and I want you to join me.
But beware, if you decide to do this, when you ask "how are you doing?" you need to really care how they are doing. Because if you just do this to be funny you are missing the point.
Now for those of you who have decided you really care, the next time someone ask you how you are doing, you should use one of these punchy lines. See how they react, do they just continue on like you said, "fine" or do they actually stop what they are doing and show genuine interest.
Okay? Ready? Here are some ideas for you when you are stopped and and asked how are you doing?
- Pretty good, my house burned down. But all in all good.
- Okay I guess, considering that I am dying. (kind of morbid I know but we all really are dying everyday.)
- OK, other than that abduction by aliens the other night I'm pretty good"
- Great, I just ate radiation and I am feeling luminase!"
- Horrible, my 401K just went in the toilet, my ulcers are acting up, I think I may have a gastrointestinal parisite, my knees, hips and shoulders need replaced, my medicare coverage sent me a statement that said die already, my hairline is receding, my waistline is expanding, college is looming, chocolate is bad for you and then good for you and now bad for you again, we are out of coffee, and the toilet is stopped up. But hey thanks for asking.

Have a great day!!
Pat

Get some new eyes...

I have great eyes! Yes I said it, and I know that I am jinxing myself but I really do.
Baby blues, I had a lady tell me one time that "your daughter has the most beautiful blue eyes I have ever seen". I looked up and said "thank you", and she said, "I see where she got them from". I said "thanks" and blushed three shades of red. And my eyes work really well. I am 41 now and earlier this year my wife made me go to the optometrist to get an eye check up because she thought I would look good in glasses. Well I did not need glasses. Doc said my eyesight is great but when it goes to come see him. I hope that is a long time from now.
So why am I talking about getting new eyes? Because sometimes we need to look at things from a different set of eyeballs, a different perspective.
Do you know that we grow accustomed to things? Yeah, rocked your world with that little insight didn't I?
Well we after a period of time grow accustomed to things and do not notice them unless they change. So that is why we need a new set of eyes to look at things from a new point of view.
I was looking at some literature we put out and thought, wow, this needs updated. You see I had quit looking at it about six months or more ago. It was our church calendar, we send it out each and every month but I never look at it. You see most of the stuff that goes on in there I am a part of, and it is on my CrackBerry (adicted I tell you) so I don't need the paper model. But I picked one up the other day and was like, wow that needs some refreshing. So I have challenged our staff to upgrade the mailers, all because I looked at something through a new set of eyes.

OK I am going to get political...

I usually refrain from getting political, but this morning this just went all over me. I booted up my computer and first thing I see on the MSN headline is that our President won the Nobel Peace Prize.
Now don't get me wrong, I pray for our president and although I do not agree with every policy he implements I am not an "Obamabasher". So this is more against the people who decide these things than the President himself. But come on!
Lets see what he has done to shape peace throughout the world. Ah, wait a minute, I am thinking, uhmm, well, I really can't come up with anything right now. And that is exactly my point.
Now in the article it talks about how he is lending an ear to Muslim issues and countries in the world, that we all need to live together in this great big world regardless of race and religion. But are we? Just this week Israel has said the obvious, there will be no peace in the Middle East, because the other side does not want it. The militant Hamas, PLO and the other "liberation organizations" that masquerade as politicians but are really terrorist will never accept an Israeli homeland in that area of the world. And the situation with Iran, well that is a boiling pot ready to explode. And Pakistan, well their democratic leader has decided democracy worked great when he was getting elected, now that his time is up he has decided a dictatorship suits him better. Can we really say the world and its countries are in a better place today than say even in 2000? I don't think so.
It also talks about how he is working to disarm the nuclear arsenals of the world. Well this is never going to happen. We have nuclear weapons because we developed them first. The other countries that have nuclear weapons looked at us and said we need a big stick too, so they made their own big sticks. Only the countries who lacked the resources or the know how were never able to make their own big stick got left in the dust. And once you have a big stick, the only thing you don't want is for others to get a big stick. You see with nuclear weapons their is no safeguard. You can burrow down into the mountain, but even if you survive you may not ever be able to leave that grave for the living because of the damage done to the surface. Disarmenment is a farce. You can tell people to turn in their guns for incentives, some will but most will turn in a few and keep the ones that they need to protect themselves against those others who do not turn in all their guns. It is human nature. We are no closer to disarmement now than we were in the 80s during the Cold War.
It also talks about his commitment to World Peace. Can I say that peace only comes followed by a time of war? Check out history, it is the way it has been and will probably always be. We are just smarter about it now than we were in the past. Will there be another world war? I don't know but no one thought there would ever be the first let alone the second world war. Peace? Well I see Iran propaganding that it will become a super power in its military might, we have India and Pakistan firing missles across the bay in test flights, and both are nuclear powers, we have China driving tanks and marching soldiers in the streets showing off their army, and we have conflicts in Iraq, Afghanistan, a never ending drug war in Latin America, pirates (although stupid ones) attacking ships around the horn of Africa, and let us not forget Somalia, Central African Republic and the genocides that are occuring every day.
No, I think the people who award the Nobel Peace Prize are clueless. They are seeing with their ears but not with their eyes. Kind of like a lot of people today, they hear what they want to hear and then warp their vision to see only what they want to see.
Rant over.

Mount Everest...

I have been intriqued about Mount Everest ever since that book by Jon Krakauer - "Into Thin Air" came out. It gave the account of a Mount Everest expedition that ended in tradgedy, eight people lost their lives that day but some others exampled courage and stamina to make it through the night on the deadliest mountain in the world.
I started thinking about this in relation to ministry. I believe whether you are pioneering or planting a church, pastoring an established church or reviving a church that has been dead or "mostly dead" (Princess Bride concept :-P) it is like climbing a mountain.

The expedition starts with preperation, you get everything together, even stuff that you might not really need but may need on occasion because once you start the journey it is really hard to go back and repack. You loose all your momentum and you waste the time you spent on your initial asscent. Prepare, Prepare, and Prepare some more. You won't probably get it all, but if you prepare correctly you will get 99% of it ready. But many poeple don't prepare at all, they just step in by faith and hope that it will work out. "I am leaving it in GOD'S hands" I have heard too many times. Can I say this, if GOD wanted to do it, he does not really need you. He works through us, and through our preperation we prepare ourselves to be ready to move at his command in any way that he wants. Consider this, you a driving home from work, how many different ways can you go to get home? I am not sure, but I think I can get home about 15 different ways. I don't use them all but I know all of them and they are an option if I need them. If I only know one way, and a tree falls over the road, I am stuck there till someone comes along and moves the tree. Preperation is vital.

The expedition then begins the climb up the mountain. This takes Perspiration. Yep, good old sweat. Too many people in ministry today don't want to work. Yes I went there. They want a 9-5 job Tuesday through Friday, yes ministers get to work a four day work week because Sunday is a work day! Yeah it is tough, sit through a service (if you aren't preaching) go eat lunch with friends for two hours and have the church pay for it, go home and take a nap in the afternoon and then go back to church for the evening service and then go to your ice cream parlor of choice and again put it on the expense account and then take Monday off since you worked so hard on Sunday. Have you ever thought what the people in your church that work a real work week, Monday through Friday, think about your schedule? No wonder everyone thinks ministers have it made. So get out there and start working. Get your manicured hands dirty, put the suit away and get out the Levis, Wranglers, and Rustlers (nice product placements huh? I have two new pairs from each company coming!! not really) and start perspiring. I will say it again, if GOD wanted to do it, he doesn't need us, but because he wants to work THROUGH us we have to start working for him. Climbing a mountain is not easy! You have to carry all this gear that you might or might not need, the air is getting thinner so it is hard to breathe, it is really cold so you are dressed like a snowman with layers and layers of clothes. And the pathway is snowy and icey and one mistep you can fall to your death. Yep, mountain climbing is like doing ministry!! Maybe that is why many won't journey outside the church office because of the slippery slopes.

The last part of being able to climb the mountain is perserverance. That is pushing on past all the obstacles and being tough enough to suceed. Many people are not tough enough anymore. I remember reading of preachers going to towns, preaching the gospel and then getting tarred and feathered by the town folks only to go onto the next town to do it all over again. I was like What? These dudes were C r A z Y!! No, they weren't crazy but they were tough and had a job to do. They did not care what people thought about them, they did not care how much they put in the offereing and wether they could correct them or not. They did not care if anyone came to their meetings. They just knew this is what GOD told them to do and they were going to do it till he told them to quit. The church today is soft. There I said it, we have fostered this culture of sitting around in a circle holding hands singing "KumByAh my Lord, KumByAh" while the world around us is calling out for a savior. We have to be people who are willing to push through, to cowboy up, to rock and roll, to "have fun storming the castle" (another Princess Bride mention, I am on a roll!) if we are to see the moutaintop.

So prepare, perspire and persevere in all that you do, and I believe you will be standing on the summit before long.
Pastor Pat

Follow the directions...

I really hate following directions. I don't know if it is a "man thing" or if I am just wired that way. But following directions is not a strong suit of mine. I remeber when I was younger putting things together and having leftover parts. I remember putting a wheel on my bicycle once, popping a wheelie and seeing my front wheel fall off. For the record, that was the longest wheelie I have ever ridden, although when it ended it was not pretty.
So anyway, I was working on my stratocaster guitar putting in some new electronics and following the directions that came with them. I had it all wired up correct and it still would not work. I got so frustrated that I just put it down and started on some other things. So about four hours later I was just looking at the diagram that came with my parts. And my eye caught something. There was a wire on that diagram that I had not seen earlier. Sure enough I look and I had forgot to put that wire in there. It was not really important, it was the ONLY wire that took the signals from the pickups to the electronics. Kind of like the driveshaft in your car that turns your axles and your wheels. You can have the best motor, best transmission and the nicest tires in the world, but without a drive shaft tying them together, you are going nowhere.
I think our lives are like that sometimes. GOD gives us directions and sometimes it appears to be just a tangle of wires, but somewhere in there if we forget to connect to him, all if for not. So stay connected, or you won't go anywhere or make any music!!

Amazing...

I am truely amazed at what GOD can do even when you have no idea what you are doing.
I was facebooking the other day and saw one of the gals from our college ministry days was getting married. So I posted a congrats! and then saw one of the boys from our XA days had posted as well. Last I knew, he was off on the east coast somewhere. Well I sent a friend request and he responded and low and behold he is a PASTOR! Wow, he was supremely talented, and we knew had a call on his life but that he is a full time Pastor just blew me away. I can't begin to count all these "kids" that we had the opportunity to minister to who have grown up, and are followers of Christ, active in Ministry and serving GOD with all their hearts. Now before I get too big headed I know we had a very small part in it, GOD is the one who equips those he calls, but I think it is too cool that some of these "kids" are out working for GOD and we had a part in their lives.
Really makes you think about ministry and investing in the lives around you. GOD does indeed give you his sheep to shepherd, what you do with them while you have them can impact eternity!

What makes a good parent?

I thought of this question the other day and had a hard time coming up with an answer. If you asked the kids, they would say a good parent is the following.
Lets them do whatever they want.
Gives them whatever they want.
Lets them stay up as long as they want.
Doesn't make them take any responsibility.
Doesn't interfere with their life.
Lets them make all their own choices.

Then I thought of what society considers a good parent to be.
Disciplines their children so they will obey.
Gives them what they need, not necessarily what they want.
Makes sure their well being is considered and enforces dos and do nots to help the child.
Makes the child take responsibility for their actions.
Makes decisions in the best interest of their children, that might not necessarily be what the child feels is in his or her best interest.
Allows the child to explore making decisions, but has the understanding with the child that the Parent's decision is final.

I have four children I am attempting to raise. Each with a different personality, different motivations and my parenting skill sets have to be flexible to be able to parent each of them where they will see the best benefit.
Parenting is an unexact science and even the best of parents sometimes have a child who is a "challenge" but we can never give up or give in. The results are too important.